ME, MYSELF, & THE BIBLE

Its time to GROW UP!

2011-08-30T19:04:00.000-07:00

Today im posting my notes from the hospital room, its my shift to take care my sick little sister and while she is sleeping, im thinking of something productive and i believe this is such an important issue in our lives. I believe this will check how mature we are and also teach us how to grow someone and something in your Christianity. So here we go …

Sebab barangsiapa masih memerlukan susu ia tidak memahami ajaran tentang kebenaran, sebab ia adalah anak kecil. Tetapi makanan keras adalah untuk orang-orang dewasa, yang karena mempunyai pancaindera yang terlatih untuk membedakan yang baik dari pada yang jahat. Ibrani 5:13-14

Children needs milk: susu itu sesuatu yang manis, enak, dan bahkan tidak perlu usaha untuk menelannya. Istilahnya, minum susu itu sesuatu yang gampang banget. (dan of course anak-anak gak membuat susu sendiri kalau mereka mau minum – jelas pasti dibuatkan oleh orangtuanya). I described the milk in our spiritual lives as a nice and comfort situation, a sweet shoulder to cry on, kalaupun ada teguran – tegurannya manis banget, gak berbau kekerasan, everything are sweet and we taste the goodness of God like everytime. Kita kaya lagi di gendong, di eyong-eyong sampe saking enaknya sampe ketiduran bahkan lagi minum susu. (trust me , I learnt about this topic from my son, lol)

Adults eat a solid food: solid food atau makanan yang keras jelas perlu usaha untuk menelannya.
One day, Max requested a new toy to us; he desired a new and a bigger basket to play basketball. At that time, I was on my way to teach him about eating meats (solid food). From my heart: someday I want to make his wish is come true: a new, bigger, and real basketball game. So first step I should make was pushing him, pressing him to eat meats (solid food) so he can grow taller than now – to be able to play a new, bigger (taller) and a real basketball games. (karena kan percuma juga ya dibeliin ring basket yang besar kalo dia tetep pendek kaya sekarang *haiaa). So, saya paksa dia makan daging, kunyah daging, dan telen daging. Satu kali pernah sampe nangis nangis dia makan daging karena gak boleh keluarin daging yang udah dimulut – sampe di cekok di sodok masuk balik ke mulutnya *pokonya KUNYAH mami ga mau tau* (nenek sihir mode:on) Sambil nangis, dia terus kunyah akhirnya sambil belajar sesekali dia minum air putih dan sesegukan nangis – dan lama-lama tatapan nenek sihir berubah jadi senyuman di bibir karena bangga – si anak ku udah bisa kunyah daging – dan saya peluk dia dan bilang “see Max, you can eat meats. Your teeth are complete, you just need to chew, a month from now you’ll grow taller and we’re going to buy a new, a bigger, and a real basketball games just like what you wanted. You can choose the color, bring to the cashier, and bring my card.

Orang dewasa itu makan makanan keras: Makanan keras itu adalah sesuatu yang harus kita olah (kalo berhubungan dengan pewahyuan, maka ini adalah pewahyuan yang bukan lagi tentang “Tuhan itu baik” bukan lagi soal “dosa dan minta ampun” it must be something deeper that involves our lives). Makanan keras juga bisa berupa teguran yang keras (namanya keras, kalo kita ketimpa sesuatu yang keras itu pasti sakit, ya at least kaget “shock” – makanan keras adalah untuk orang dewasa. Dan untuk bisa jadi besar dan bertumbuh sampai dewasa, setiap kita harus terbiasa (mulai terbiasa) mengunyah makanan yang keras. (solid food).

Sometimes in our lives, Tuhan akan ijinkan sesuatu yang keras (mungkin kasar) terjadi dalam hidup kita. Kita akan ngalamin di tegur keras oleh sesorang, sesuatu yang sangat gak meng-enakkan, situasi dan kondisi yang yang belum pernah kita temui sebelumnya dan dengan terpaksa kita harus hadepin itu

(Bukan kabur ato kalo kasus max: daging dilepehin dibuang ke lantai) – karena percuma, semakin kabur semakin Tuhan akan kejer kita, sama kaya saya liat max lepehin daging “it doesn’t work well Max, you still have to chew those meats” sampai Max bisa kunyah daging dan berhasil mengunyahnya, then the hard things will end.

Well, guys .. the time to grow up is today. Kita bisa pilih untuk menjadi dewasa (kita memutuskan sendiri untuk dewasa – merespon segala sesuatu “mengunyah” dengan benar) atau Tuhan yang paksa untuk kita dewasa. In my lives, kedua hal ini mewarnai perjalanan saya sampai hari ini. Ada banyak hal, situasi, dan kondisi yang memaksa saya untuk menjadi dewasa (dalam hal respon yang benar, mengunyah semua permasalahan dan pergumulan, dan menikmati hasil dari makanan keras ini). Ada kalanya juga teguran keras datang dari orang, hinaan keras datang, – tapi semuanya itu justru harus dikunyah – walaupun dengan air mata (sesekali minum air), ditelen terus sampai gigi-gigi kita terlatih untuk mengunyahnya dan roh kita mendapat keuntungan dari nya.

So don’t run away from something hard – don’t hide from your big challenge, big responsibility that comes into your life like a thunder, don’t mad because of the shocking thing in your life – try to CHEW those solid food – and GROW UP.

Last thing to think about:
If something hard comes into your life now, mungkin-mungkin ada hal besar yang kita minta sama Bapa di surga – dan hal-hal yang kita hadapi sekarang sebenarnya persiapan untuk Bapa berikan apa yang kita minta itu. Jangan-jangan, memang semua hal yang gak meng-enakkan ini (belum) adalah karena Tuhan mau memberikan apa yang kita mau. (Sama seperti Max yang merengek minta ring basket yang lebih besar dan yang asli). Jangan-jangan!

SOWING: its a dirty job!

2011-06-09T02:10:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone, finally i got time to open my laptop and write. I think i need ipad for my birthday gift - it would be so much easier (especially when Max is napping or sleeping. lol). Its kinda hot outside, but enjoy the reading. Cukup udara aja yang panas, hati jangan ikutan panas apalagi otak, bisa runyam. And you're too beautiful to have a bad day. Have fun!

Baru menyadari (semakin menyadari lagi dan lagi) belakangan ini bahwa menjadi seorang petani itu pekerjaan yang gak mudah, dan yang pasti ‘kotor’. That’s why I call it a dirty job – yet at the time of reaping what we’ve sowed, its more and beyond than any party could have.

Giving vs Sowing
Kita seringkali denger dua kata ini: Giving (Memberi) dan Sowing (Menabur) – if we don’t understand the meaning, we tend to summarize those word with the same meaning. Giving is not a dirty job! Kita bisa memberi uang recehan kita dari dalam mobil yang ber-ac, Kita bahkan bisa memberi dengan online hari-hari ini – its not a dirty job. But sowing (Menabur) is a dirty job, its even way more than just a job.

Seorang petani untuk bisa menabur benih, dia harus memastikan bahwa tanah dimana benih itu akan ditabur, sudah dibajak terlebih dahulu (dalam kondisi yang terbaik, supaya benih yang ditabur itu mendapat nutrisi yang baik dari tanah tersebut sampai akhirnya bertumbuh dan berbuah). Seorang petani untuk bisa menabur benih, dia harus pergi keluar pagi-pagi berjalan di tanahnya dan menabur benih (Dia gak naïf, dia tabur sebanyak mungkin benih, karena dia sadar gak semua benih yang dia tabur mungkin tumbuh. So, he has no choice but sowing more and more and more). See, it’s a dirty job! It takes our effort; it burned our skin, and its exhausted because you need to walk right under the sun.

Choose to be a sower and not just a giver. Apa yang kamu beri, tidak selalu kamu dapatkan kembali, tapi apa yang kamu tabur, itulah yang kamu tuai. And do you realize that God is already put in our lives all kind of seed for us to sow, not to be consumed by our self.

“Ia yang menyediakan benih bagi penabur, dan roti untuk dimakan, Ia juga yang akan menyediakan benih bagi kamu dan melipatgandakannya dan menumbuhkan buah-buah kebenaranmu” 2 Korintus 9:10

Dear sower: Don’t get tired or give up easily and don’t be naïf, when its your time to sow: SOW A LOT and SOW WITH PASSION, and KEEP SOWING. Yes, it’s a dirty job, but we’re going to reap what we sow!

“Taburlah benihmu pagi-pagi hari, dan janganlah memberi istirahat kepada tanganmu pada petang hari, karena engkau tidak mengetahui apakah ini atau itu yang akan berhasil, atau kedua-duanya sama baik.” (Pengkotbah 11:6)

Dear Sower: At first, you will keep sowing and sowing and sowing. But today, i would like to throw you an IDEA (a BIG ONE) about becoming 'A SEED ITSELF' . At first, Jesus was sowing and sowing everywhere He goes, anytime He have time, He was sowing and keep sowing. But then, He decided to become A SEED ITSELF and died at the cross – and look what we have today? There are so many Christian all over the world; in a church, in a marketplace, in a mission field, in every school and campus – sharing the good news about the Gospel.

So, how about becoming A SEED?
You will become a very effective sower;
because you dont sow things, you sow yourself into somebody's lives.

do DIFFERENT and get a DIFFERENT result

2011-06-02T19:39:00.001-07:00

Hello again everyone .. i just notice today that i got more follower these days, and its a privilege to share whats in my life to you. I would love to share more and more things in my life; my secrets, my passion, my failures, my family, and my everything to all of you. You have no idea how i write a LOT these days; a book is on the way for you to have, and a personal website will be launch soon. So, what you've been reading on this blogspot is like a preview for what is to come. Hope to keep blessing you in many ways. Enjoy the reading today, and Have a super humongous enormous day today like i do! You deserve that! xoxo

Saya percaya bahwa gak ada seorangpun yang gak mengharapkan hasil yang baik dalam hidupnya dan terutama dalam hal yang dia anggap penting yang dia lakukan di sebagian besar waktunya, betul? We tend to said something cynical to people or even skeptical (specially our leader or our closest people) whom oriented on a result. But hey, tunggu dulu sebentar; bukankah semua kita juga berorientasi pada hasil? Semua orang yang bekerja pasti mengharapkan hasil. Semua orang yang ber-investasi mengharapkan hasil (even Tuhan sendiri; He expecting a multiplication of our talent when He trusted us with some) - you can bring up another example, and im sure all of us are expecting a result, a bigger one, and a better one. AND ITS OKE.

These days, im expecting a bigger result in my personal life, in my family life, and in my ministry life. Im expecting something different, something new, something fresh, im so expecting something super natural happening in every aspect of my life. Im expecting THINGS will grow faster than before. Yes, i want a result. (a new one and a bigger one). I kinda feeling so bored with whats going on in my life, i need something to be break, i need something that more than a routine, i need a new success - im bored with the same success and the same result.

Then like always, the voice came from inside of me and said:
"People who always does the same thing and expecting a different result is joking (AH BECANDA LU) and insane (GILA AJA LU)" I shocked for a several second because i didn't expect those word at all. Im overwhelmed for a quite while, then like always, the words came to me ...

2 Ia melihat dua perahu di tepi pantai. Nelayan-nelayannya telah turun dan sedang membasuh jalanya. 3 Ia naik ke dalam salah satu perahu itu, yaitu perahu Simon, dan menyuruh dia supaya menolakkan perahunya sedikit jauh dari pantai. Lalu Ia duduk dan mengajar orang banyak dari atas perahu. 4 Setelah selesai berbicara, Ia berkata kepada Simon: "Bertolaklah ke tempat yang dalam dan tebarkanlah jalamu untuk menangkap ikan." 5 Simon menjawab: "Guru, telah sepanjang malam kami bekerja keras dan kami tidak menangkap apa-apa, tetapi karena Engkau menyuruhnya, aku akan menebarkan jala juga." 6 Dan setelah mereka melakukannya, mereka menangkap sejumlah besar ikan, sehingga jala mereka mulai koyak. (Lukas 5:2-6)

It’s been the whole nite, Simon tried to catch a fish and none of fish he catches and he began to bored and tired; Then Jesus took place and told him to ‘DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT’ and Simon got ‘THE BIGGER and THE ENORMOUS FISH (RESULT) IN NUMBERS’. Simon gak mengganti profesinya ketika ia tidak mendapatkan hasil ketika memancing,"ah, udah lah kayanya saya gak akan berhasil di bidang ini. saya ganti profesi aja". (well maybe for once, he thought about that. But Jesus came to Simon not to change his profession, but to change his way of fishing and even better Jesus bring Simon to believe Him and to follow Him. this is deep!)

If you are tired of your life these days, if you are tired of your condition today .. try to listen to God’s direction and do differently, and you will get a different result. Stop doing the same thing the whole time in your life, Stop doing the same strategy for your ministry, and see the different result. Even better im saying this "stop doing things on your own power and strength and get in the flow with His direction"

What is your CALLING?

2011-05-30T20:22:00.000-07:00

Banyak orang berpikir ‘komplex’ mengenai satu kata ini “calling” atau “panggilan”, bahkan gak terhitung banyaknya orang yang bingung dengan hal ini. In my old days, I heard once said “the need is the calling” – but then i was thinking, the need will always be there and should I always available to answer the need? It took me long enough to know what is my calling…

I want to share about two things that can measure up your calling, and im sure you’re pretty excited right now like I do. Hold on take a deep breath first before you read this two point.There are two question that you need to ask in your life if you want to know what God wants you to do;

1. What makes you angry?

Satu kali, saya berkesempatan untuk ketemu Ps Troy Marshall dan berbincang panjang dengan beliau. Well, I tell you he is such a talking machine – he basically talked about everything; babies, family, raising up a son, ipad, history, president, etc. Saya lupa lagi bahas apa, tapi ini yang membuat saya cukup berpikir lama dan kalimat ini seperti merasuki hati dan jiwa saya sampai hari ini.

He was asking “what makes you angry?” Karena apa yang membuat kamu marah, kesana (disanalah) Tuhan memanggil kamu untuk memperbaikinya. Contoh: Saya gak marah kalau di gereja gak ada volunteer ‘make up’, tapi orang-orang yang marah (atau at least kesel) liat para wl dan singer polos … disanalah sebenarnya Tuhan memanggil kamu untuk memperbaikinya.

2. What breaks you?

Oke, so im not talking about dating heart breaking; im talking about in your daily lives when you one condition: apa yang membuat hatimu sedih melihatnya?

Kata mereka kepadaku: "Orang-orang yang masih tinggal di daerah sana, yang terhindar dari penawanan, ada dalam kesukaran besar dan dalam keadaan tercela. Tembok Yerusalem telah terbongkar dan pintu-pintu gerbangnya telah terbakar." Ketika kudengar berita ini, duduklah aku menangis dan berkabung selama beberapa hari. Aku berpuasa dan berdoa ke hadirat Allah semesta langit, Nehemia 1:3-4

Bagi Nehemia, yang membuat dia hancur hati adalah: Kondisi bangsanya dan tembok Yerusalem yang runtuh. What is yours? Yang sangat pasti, bahwa Tuhan tidak pernah menciptakan manusia tanpa 'panggilan' untuk manusia tersebut melakukan apa yang Tuhan mau lakukan. As long as you live, there are assignment from God for you to do, for you to fix, and for you to build.

So, ask yourself today: what makes you angry? what breaks you?

There you are called to fix and to build up. Find your position and get the works done.

This is a short message and open for a discussion. I know you need that.

You never really alone

2011-05-30T04:52:00.000-07:00

You might know a Michael Jackson song that says, “you are not alone, i am here with you …and you might know one quote about: ”the problem is not being alone, but being lonely. Yesterday, these theme popped into my heart with a several words from the bible about this.

You know, lonely is a major problem for everybody who lives in this world; if you go find some people and interview them about ‘loneliness’, at some point in their lives, there must be a stage where each of them feels ‘lonely’. And when I think about this word; its like a disease – it’s a feeling of being abandoned, not being heard, and not being acknowledge, it’s like you are invisible (nobody sees you – nobody sees the best of you, not even yourself), and its just terrible.

Some of you reading this and may nod your head, and agree with me. But I’ve got the truth that sets me free, and since I know this truth I’m no longer feels lonely in the crowd, I know who I am and I know that all of my lives “I never really alone in this world”

You know, even before you were shaped and born into this world, God was there since your creation..

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5

And along the way you were growing up perfectly, let say you were in a teenagers world and you’re in searching of your self image … you know what, God was there (He sent His angels to make a tend around you and even along your path)...

The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him,
and he delivers them. Psalm 34:7

Someday you feel confuse, you don’t know what to decide, and you’ve no direction in life, you’ve no one to direct you … but, God was there led you into your today ..

For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways; Psalm 91:11

Some night, you cant close your eyes to bed, you’re too scared to close your eyes because of your heavy burden, and it’s like there is no tomorrow for you, but … God was there..

He won't let you stumble, your Guardian God won't fall asleep. Not on your life!

Israel's Guardian will never doze or sleep. God's your Guardian, right at your side to protect you.

Psalm 121:3-5

If you just aware that God is around you 24 hours a day 7 days a week – you would live differently. You will live respecting Him: the awareness of His presence will drive sins away from your thought and life. Whether you’re into sinning, or feeling desperate for something; Whether you’re alone with your boyfriend/girlfriend, or alone by yourself: Whether you’re worshiping or complaining, and where ever you are in every season of your life – God was there and is still there today and will always be there around you forever.

I quote some of my favorite song created by amazing guy (Bung Bernard)

“My Wonderful”:

“Where can I go, how can I live, away from Your Spirit away from Your Spirit?

Last verse for you:

Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit? to be out of your sight? If I climb to the sky, you're there! If I go underground, you're there! If I flew on morning's wings to the far western horizon, You'd find me in a minute-you're already there waiting! Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark! At night I'm immersed in the light!" Psalm 139:7-10

What ever your situation now, you are never ever really alone. You just need to realize that. I love to be alone with God everyday – in fact in every situation in your life, at the end its always ‘you and God’. What ever you decide in life, at the end its about ‘you and God’. Its not just in your worship time, but in your daily lives – when the lights in your house is off, when every sound around you is fading out, and when you’re alone with just yourself laying on your bed at night, you never really alone: its always ‘you and God’.

Feeling alone or lonely tonite? Think again...

TIME IS TICKING; make every second count

2011-05-27T10:36:00.000-07:00

Hello again everyone; its been a hectic days with this and that and also several ministry traveling last week and finally i got some time out to write; im writing the notes in Bogor City (the city of my husband and his family). This city has been always our transit city before ministering in Jakarta. And wow, you have no idea how much i want to tell you my whole story, my whole experience, and my whole thing these days.

Being in two different island in one day, being in many different places in one week, and doing great things are what satisfied me these weeks. I realized time is ticking, so i want to make the very best in my every time, and i've been re-prioritize my priorities since then.

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Ajarlah kami menghitung hari-hari kami sedemikian, hingga kami beroleh hati yang bijaksana. Mazmur 90:12

I don’t really care about what I do until I was almost 30, and then after 30 I begin to really care about what I should do and what I shouldn’t. And now being almost 32 is so hilarious but its not always easy, especially when you realized that you still need a lot of thing to do, a lot works to do. I tend to have a different mindset and a different focus; because im kind of thinking that im running out time here and don’t wanna waste each second. I even am imagining me walking with a ticking clock on my forehead. …. and yeah i know its kinda freaky.

I don’t know at what age David prayed God to teach him to number his days; but that’s what I need, that’s what we need nowadays. But Moses also prayed this prayer one time in the bible, and I’m sure we should do this too.

There are 365 days in a year, and its 8760 hours in a year. God gave us this precious gift to each one of us everyday: 24 hour a day to live. You know, TIME IS SO PRECIOUS! TIME IS MORE THAN MONEY! (Because we cant buy time with our money). Time is the most expensive thing in our lives. How we treat our times shows how rich we are.

a. Time is a gift from God; that we should use our time wisely and multiply it.

How you use your time in your daily lives reflects how grateful you are to the Giver. We value our time by doing the best we can do in this time we have. We value our time by using our time to impact this world we live in and even better impacting the eternity. Good news that We can multiply our time by multiplying ourselves. I have a beautiful assistance that helps me to do everything I need to do. She’s very good, fast, and the most important: she’s single! All the man, you should consider her yet you should pass me first to get her. LOL. I multiply my times by multiplying myself to her – and the result is: I got the works done and I can even do double things at the same time.

b. Time is the greatest gift we can give to others (mostly to GOD)

People tend to look for the most expensive one regarding giving a gift – but for me “YOUR TIME” is the greatest give you can give to someone else. When you give money to others, you can still get another money another day, but when you give your time, you would never return that time. Soon your today become yesterday, and in a short time, this year will become the old days. You will not get another time another day; because today is only happens once.

When you give your time to somebody, you are telling somebody that he/she is very important, you are telling him/her that you’re focusing your life, your attention, your mind, your heart to him/her. Never underestimate your conversation with somebody – and count each second to be the most memorable moments with that person, because those times would never return. Dont waste your time in silent mode when its time for you to speak up.

Now, it’s a good thing to evaluate your day; since it’s a gift from God – how have you been using your time these lately? Have you been ‘hiding your gift (time)’ and just to keep it for yourself – how about the idea of multiplying your time? And since it’s a greatest gift that you can give to others (and mostly to GOD) – some of you might thinking about giving the big amount of money each month for the church, but let me tell you something: the church might use your money, but God doesn’t need your money, He wants you (your time). Have you tithe your time? Have you give your time to talk to God, or even to listen to Him, or even better to give yourself in the ministry? Because im sure you still have some time to do that.

Time is precious, time is short, and tomorrow isn’t promised. It means that no one know when our life is going to end even though our life are fix before God. The Devil is in their best shape and strategy nowadays: They're not hiding the truth, they're not even scares us and bring us straight to hell. What they do then? THEY SLOW US DOWN. They will say "No need to hurry, you still have so much time". So peeps, Don’t hide your time but give your time (not for yourself only) as long as you can and as long as you have for God and for people. Don’t delay any important things, the essential things, get your priorities in order, be fast and have faith!

The Overflowing HOPE

2011-05-21T04:05:00.000-07:00

Hello again, this morning i had a morning prayer with the leaders and i was so filled with God's burden and i couldn't stop my tears since like i don't know; its like the stock of my tears are never empty, its always there these few days. Actually today i didn't plan to write a notes, because i don't have any idea what to write... until the noon came hand in hand with the Whispering in my ear saying one word "H O P E" and since then, it was like floating on my ear, on my tears, and penetrated into my heart the whole day.

Its been a long time since i know this word and barely not experiencing the word of "H O P E". Embracing this word today is like chewing a sweet soft cake and it kinda feel 'oke' until i accidentally found the word in the bible,

Semoga Allah, sumber pengharapan, memenuhi kamu dengan segala sukacita dan damai sejahtera dalam iman kamu, supaya oleh kekuatan Roh Kudus kamu berlimpah-limpah dalam pengharapan.
Roma 15:13 (ITB)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Rome 15:13 (NIV)

What a life changing moment for me personally! This "HOPE" is surely what the world needs nowadays, this is so like a water in the dessert. Hope is a vital thing in life, its even CRITICAL - because living without hope is hopeless, we're going to loose everything, we're going even to loose ourselves. HOPE IS WHAT I NEED, HOPE IS WHAT WE NEED!

What ever you are facing now, dont give up yet! When things around you were not supporting you and you feel like all alone; you feel like failing again and again, you feel like decreasing and not feeling excited, and you have the silent yearning for something better in your life : HOPE

This thing that makes me carry on This thing that makes me moving on This thing that makes me keep doing what im doing now This thing that makes me keep holding on is THE OVERFLOWING HOPE- me

Our source of HOPE is God and God alone. Its only in Him, our hope is not gonna be forever a hope. Its only Him, our hope is becoming reality and even more. Every human has a HOPE, even its a small, its still a hope. But in a life survival, we don't just need hope, we need THE OVERFLOWING HOPE that can only be found in God and can only be given by God. That's why, fix your hope on God today. Don't give up yet! (*talking to myself*)

Dan pengharapan tidak mengecewakan, karena kasih Allah telah dicurahkan
di dalam hati kita oleh Roh Kudus yang telah dikaruniakan kepada kita. Roma 5:5 (ITB)

And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out
into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Rome 5:5 (NIV)

I say WOW to myself and right now im just pointing up to heaven with tears and say "You're amazing God, yes You are, definitely!" -So don't give up people - there is a hope if you hope on God. Let me know if you need help on this topic.. Let the overflowing hope become your clothing and accessories today. Happy Saturday peeps and see you in church tomorrow! xoxo

Presence of God

2011-05-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

Hello again everyone, hoping that you guys doing a great thing and having the most amazing day today. No matter what happen, i tell you there are still a reason to keep going, to keep pressing on, and to be thankful for everything, cause the bible said it so. Where ever you are now, feel the urgency to just solitude and read this note with a full heart. Here we go ...

Have you ever in love? I bet you do...
I'm in love with my husband like everyday; everyday our love journey is happening in this earth. We worked separately everyday, he has his own works to do and some people to handle, and i do too. Even our office were only separated by levels, yet we're so far away in mind. But each time I got something in mind, i always wanted him to know directly from me, and each time I have this kind of problem, i just want him to be here with me. Sometimes i don't need his advice or even the answer for the problem, i just want to be in 'his presence' because for so many times, that's just enough; knowing that he is around, that's just enough.

What about every question u have these days? What about every problem you've encountered these days? I bet you need an answer for so many things in your life, i bet you need the explanation about why things happening to you these days. And i bet some of you don't like the way this world treating you these days. You know, sometimes you just don't need those answer, you just need to be still in His presence and be refreshed in His presence.

This is what we missed these days: PRESENCE OF GOD
Presence of God is His manifestation upon His people, its a place where its only you and Him alone face to face. Presence of God is different with the presence of any other man in this world. His presence brings healing, power, and Everything that you need. And not only that, in His presence, there is no sin can hide, the sin will be uncover in His presence. This is what we missed these days ... People are keep coming to the church, but they don't change (the tragedy was happening when the sinners lift up their hands in church, yet they keep sinning and even worst, they dont care anymore about sinning). We missed the presence of God.

Hadirat Tuhan:
Adalah tempat dimana hanya ada saya dan Tuhan dimana Tuhan dapat bebas menginterupsi hati saya, membongkar semua dosa yang saya lakukan sengaja atau tidak sengaja, sebuah waktu dimana Tuhan menyatakan isi hatiNya dan tangisanNya, dan bahkan waktu dimana Tuhan menyegarkan visi saya, menguatkan kaki-kaki saya terutama hati saya; Hadirat Tuhan adalah sebuah tempat yang jika saya mau masuk lebih dalam disitu terdapat semua jawaban yang saya perlukan untuk segala hal, yaitu DiriNya sendiri. HadiratNya mengubahkan saya yang keras menjadi lembut, menyembunyikan saya dari segala kejahatan dan ketidakadilan dunia, bahkan membuka mata saya untuk melihat dengan kacamataNya. Everything does looks different in His perspective, that makes me understands the bigger picture of everything.

That's why i need His presence more than the answer; i can get the whole answer for every problem yet loosing His presence or even Him that would be the worst tragedy in my life. All i need is His presence, i know it might not change situations, but it changes me and the way i see things.

Psalm 51:11 [ RSV NASB NIV] . Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me. (its a deep prayer from David, someone who has experiencing the presence of God.

"I want the presence of God Himself, or I don't want anything at all to do with religion... I want all that God has or I don't want any."
— A.W. Tozer

Why dont you just go to your own place and experiencing His presence? You will never want to go out ...

People are not the enemy

2011-05-17T20:30:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone, its kind of complicated these two days because I had the most shocking truth I received (two shocking truth; one is extremely bad and the other one is extremely bring sadness) plus some of the godly burden that God put on my heart these days. It’s been two days I got a heavy headache (low blood pressure attacking my body) and also sudden insomnia. Its just I cant sleep, its just I cant stop thinking, and its just way too hard for me.

And so, our lives (if its normal); we will always connected with other people (whether they’re the older one, the same age, and the young one). And also, our lives (if its spiritual); we will always be a target for the devil. And the bad news is, the devil rides on peoples these days, they even ride on spiritual people. (sometimes on me as well).

I’ve seen people getting hurt, hit, hitched, and also trapped in the devil business – and we need to be careful handling these people, because we have to remember (always reminds ourselves that ‘people is not the enemy’).

If just everybody were aware enough that we are at war everyday, that we are fighting the devil everyday – (not the people); we will win every time we had a conflict or even problem or even sin.

I love God, I love Church, I love peoples and I HATE devil.

The fact that devil ride on people is disturbing me these days, im so in war with the devil. And I need wisdom; I need God, as much as I need people. (I need them because I love them).

I was leading a prayer in our worship team gathering; when we worship and pray (suddenly I heard a loud screaming voice on my left ear; I checked to the singers at the back of me and no one near me as near those screaming voice. By that moment, i knew that it was a devil screaming to my ear and mad at me. And I led the people to hand in hand worshiping God and sing our song “Haleluya, Haleluya, Hosanna bagiMu” and we continued our prayer and I knew im the winner. (but I knew, the devil is keep working keep looking for a chance in every worship team that day to ride on them and fight against me)

And because I’ve seen in my spirit that the devil rides on my beautiful people makes me angry. Im angry because I love them; and I rebuked the devil who is standing behind their back laughing at me while slowly dragging them to their place. And I can’t stand still seeing them dragged into hell. I just can’t stand still and not doing anything.

I rather take my risk of them hating me (now) then seeing them serving the devil (later). I just wanna tell you, that you are not my enemy (the devil is) and im not your enemy (the devil is). If you are just realize, that we’re at war, and we’re suppose to be in this together (not fighting each other). Why don't we just cut it out, and make a war with the right enemy and win this thing together.

Keep winning, people! For you are destined to be win and more than a conqueror.

Words for today is this: Ephesians 4:27 "Dan janganlah beri kesempatan kepada Iblis," (dalam terjemahan lain: jangan memberi satu pijakan kepada Iblis untuk masuk) - Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.

Ssshhh and Listen

2011-05-15T16:20:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone; for me Monday is like another new day that the Lord has made and for me Monday to Saturday is my day to apply and to do everything that I've heard and learned on Sunday.

Well, yesterday (Sunday) was a FULL day for me and my spirit also FULL with the ministry and the services and also a LOT OF conversation with Ps Troy Marshall. It was amazing and i wouldn't want that moment to ended actually,
but it has to end anyway or i CRASHED! seriously .. hahaha.

Buat saya, hari minggu itu hari terpenting dalam sepanjang minggu; karena apa yang terjadi di hari Minggu akan menentukan kekuatan atau kelemahan saya dari Senin sampai Sabtu. But the most important thing is; what i heard on Sunday will determine what im gonna do on Monday to Saturday; and of course what im about to do on Monday to Saturday will determine my future success or even my eternal success. Now, lets learn something today where ever you are.

Jadi, iman timbul dari pendengaran, dan pendengaran oleh firman Kristus. Roma 10:17

Sebab seperti tubuh tanpa roh adalah mati, demikian jugalah
iman tanpa perbuatan-perbuatan adalah mati. Yakobus 2:26

IF .. IF .. IF on Monday to Saturday, we dont have anything to apply to our lives from what we heard on Sunday, then we were not actually listening the word of God. Because when you really listening to the word of God, you will heard something raise from your heart (thats when the faith also raise); and the faith will keep pushing through from the inside out - because it desire to do the word of God and because without deeds "faith is dead" or maybe "there is no faith all" and it means "you're not hearing Him, yet"

Take a breath now ...
So, what about yesterday? Did you really listening until you HEARD something? Karena Iman timbul dari pendengaran dan pendengaran akan Firman Tuhan.

Apa yang kita dengar melalui telinga jasmani belum tentu mendatangkan iman; tapi apa yang kita dengar melalui telinga rohani kita akan mendatangkan iman. Faith comes through hearing the whispering of God in your deepest heart (its your spirit), and once He touch your spirit, you will ALIVE again. (faith will raise, and make you rise up like never before). And i need faith - well i don't about you and your life, how complicated it may be, how hard it may be, how stressful it may be, so that's why you need faith everyday. The key is to really listening until you heard something.

So, first we must really listening until we heard something (UNTIL FAITH COMES) - while of that, we need to shut down every voice: the voice of your problem, and also the voice of your mind. Until Faith comes, then you're ready to step out and do something. If you still don't have idea what to do after you listening, then i suggest to go(as back to the 'listening' step. (ask someone you can trust if you can). If you think that you have faith, but then you're not doing anything according your faith, then maybe 'you don't have enough faith' or 'you don't really got the faith', then go back to the 'listening' step. Make yourself 'SHHHH AND LISTEN'

Happy Listening everyone! and Have Faith in what ever you do today! Move a mountain today, shall we?
xoxo

Seeing with your heart; SEEING THE INVICIBLE

2011-05-13T19:58:00.000-07:00

Hello Saturday and Hello you, you and you - Its a good day for you to fly like a beautiful butterfly. But before you do and whatever you have planned for today and where ever you are; im praying that this note would somehow reminds you, equip you, and even empower you for today. This is actually the series of my notes "Matters of Heart" so you can just read them with just clicking the tags "matters of heart". Enjoy the reading!

So many times in our lives, we only see what this eye can see perfectly. Waktu orang-orang matanya mulai kabur (bolor.red), mereka panik dan mulai mencari cara supaya mereka melihat dengan jelas. Karena kegiatan ‘melihat’ ini definitely is the most important thing in life. Dan ini membuat panca indera ‘mata’ kita jadi bagian yang gak diragukan dan gak disangkal jadi bagian yang terpenting. (semuanya penting juga anyway.red)

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.

For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. 2 Cor 4:18

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matt 5:8

Kalo kita bandingkan dua perkataan diatas, ada koneksi yang begitu kuat antara ‘mata’ kita dan ‘hati’ kita. Infact, our heart is another eye in our lives. Dalam hidup kita, ada masa-masa dimana semua yang keliatan sama kasat mata kita gak menyenangkan. Tell me more; mungkin keadaan kita, kondisi hidup kita, kemiskinan kita, kesusahan kita, dan bahkan hal-hal yang rasanya gak mungkin kita hadapin. Dan kita mulai depresi dengan semua yang kita lihat.

Don’t give up too quickly. Karena kita punya ‘mata yang lain’ yaitu ‘hati’ kita untuk melihat apa yang tidak terlihat. This is so important to fix our eyes to what is unseen – for what is unseen is eternal. Kondisi mu hari ini yang kau lihat dengan mata itu hanya sementara, kesusahanmu, kemiskinanmu. Kondisi orang lain yang kau lihat mungkin melemahkan iman atau “ah kayanya dia gak bisa berubah”, semuanya itu hanya sementara.

THE INVICIBLE NOW BECOME VISIBLE AND POSSIBLE

1. Seeing Condition

The good thing about seeing with the heart is that we can see whatever we want! We can even create our future in our eyes. Create you best condition in your heart and keep those sight, because its not just about imagination, it is called "faith", and its because "seeing is believing, and what you believe is what gonna happen in your life"

2. Seeing People

Hidup kita ini selalu bergesekan dengan orang lain; Semakin kita dekat dengan orang-orang semakin banyaklah gesekan demi gesekan. The most concern thing in my ministry is putting a value in young people’s live, and its quite stressful (because of the truth that says that I cant change people). Dan, melihat kondisi ini dan orang-orang ini, dan juga usaha yang saya buat, saya putuskan untuk melihat dengan hati dan saya mulai melihat semua kebalikan yang saya lihat dengan mata Jasmani.

SEEING GOD IN EVERY SITUATION AND EVERY PEOPLE

The best thing about seeing the unseen – bukan hanya menciptakan segala hal sesuai dengan apa yang kita mau (dengan iman kita) – but SEEING GOD in everything. When we see God in our condition, in every people we meet – we’ll act differently and we’ll feel differently (*bold note to myself)

Lets just fix our heart (our eyes) to see the unseen thing, because the unseen thing is eternal. And Lets just decide to see GOD in every situation and every people today. The happiest man on earth is the one who can see God in everything; in every trouble, every process, and even in every good things. Have a great Saturday everyone!

His Heartbeat, My Music

2011-05-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

Happy Saturday for everyone! Im posting my yesterday thought here because i had problem posting them yesterday in order of the blogger trouble in maintenance. So, before you read the today message, its good to read this one! Here is is, enjoy your day and be happy! you are so deserve to be happy...

Setelah Saul disingkirkan, Allah mengangkat Daud menjadi raja mereka. Tentang Daud Allah telah menyatakan: Aku telah mendapat Daud bin isai, seorang yang berkenan di hati-Ku dan yang melakukan segala kehendak-Ku. Kis 13:32

Kata “seorang yang berkenan di hati-Ku” kurang tepat kalo di terjemahan ini. In the origin language, it translated “a man after my own heart” (seseorang yang dekat di hati-Ku, seseorang yang telah memegang hati-Ku, seseorang yang ada di detak jantung-Ku, bahkan seseorang yang selalu membuat jantung-Ku berdetak kencang; Seseorang yang tahu kesusahan-Ku, tahu apa yang menjadi kesukaan Tuhan, dan tahu apa maunya Tuhan)

I got this revelation when I was at the gym yesterday morning – After morning prayer, I went up to the gym to worked out my body. I was joining class and then in the middle of class – I paused to drink my water. And it happened that time. Waktu saya diam dan coba ngatur nafas (you have know idea, I was heavy sweating, the adrenalin was so high, and the room was so hot) sambil minum, gak sengaja saya denger detak jantung saya sendiri – begitu cepet, begitu tegang, begitu DAG DIG DUG DER .. *lol dan tau gak, segera ikut lagi semua movement yang ditunjukkin instructur di depan.

DETAK JANTUNG SAYA YANG CEPAT membuat saya gak bisa diem, apalagi duduk tenang, karena tanpa sadar itu menuntut saya untuk bergerak mengikuti irama musik. Dan terus, sambil terus gerak, saya mulai coba buat sinkron, si DETAK JANTUNG, si MUSIK, dan juga si GERAKAN.

Im trying to synchronize My Heart Beat, The Music, with The Movement.

God taught me yesterday to listened His heartbeat in the crowds, in the valley, through the wind, through people, through every situation – Feel My Heart Beat says the Lord and move with your music …

Today, detak jantung siapa yang kita denger?

How bout to just close your eyes where ever you are now, and feel your heart beat – and lets be just like John who laid his head on God’s chest to listened to the most important heartbeat: God’s Heart Beat. Lets make GOD’S HEAT BEAT – YOUR MUSIC – and flow with the music. Jump into the music and move.

So, are you ready for today? Please have a great one, and an impacting one. The world, and even better: THE HEAVEN watches your life as if they don’t have anybody else but you. xoxo

Moving UP & Moving FORWARD

2011-05-12T03:14:00.000-07:00

It’s a great day, isn’t it? Its been 13 hour since I woke up this morning and still it is so fresh remembering what happened in morning prayer at church. I remembered it still dark when I went out from my house and turn on the car to be heated a while before we flew to the church. So, this is the topic that I’d shared in Morning Prayer. Grab them all!

You know, as a human being we’re all about moving to one place and then another. The moment we are not moving, we are dying. But today, I want to focus about MOVING TO THE RIGHT WAY. If you ever listened to one sentence that often used in order breaking up, people tend to say “life must go on, so lets move on” – This is not the kind of move that I want to talk about. Its not just about moving on without direction or moving on with a wound in the heart. Its about Moving Up and Moving Forward. Come on say that again to yourself:

MOVING UP – MOVING FORWARD

Then the Lord said to Moses, "Come up to the Lord, you and Aaron, Nadab and Abihu, and seventy of the elders of Israel. You are to worship at a distance …Exodus 24:1 (NIV)

Berfirmanlah Ia kepada Musa: “Naiklah menghadap Tuhan, engkau dan Harun, Nadab dan Abihu dan tujuh puluh orang dari para tua-tua Israel dan sujudlah kamu menyembah dari jauh … “ Keluaran 24:1 (ITB)

Several times in the Old Testament, God appointed Moses and also Abraham to COME UP to the mountain – its like God wants the private place to speak to them, to give them a law (today we often called it as ‘r.e.v.e.l.a.t.i.o.n’). This is what I called as “MOVING UP” or “Moving to God” – up to God’s mountain. This is the first movement that we need to redouble the effort, to MOVE UP (Sometimes to Move Up, we need to traveled on our knees, and many times we need to give up every heavy burden one burden at a time while we’re climbing to finally arrive at the top of the mountain. Up in the mountain, is the place where God will speak to us, giving us a clear direction, or even heal our broken hearted and traumas in lives.

It’s a place where there’s only you and God – face to face just like Moses and Abraham. This is the first and the most important movement in our entire lives, that before we’re moving forward we know exactly where to go, what to do, and why we’re doing what we’re doing now.

In New Testament, Paul told Galatians in Galatians 1:12

“I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it; rather, I received it by revelation from Jesus Christ.” (Aku menerimanya oleh penyataan Yesus Kristus)

And also see Galatians 2:2

I went in response to a revelation and, meeting privately with those esteemed as leaders, I presented to them the gospel that I preach among the Gentiles. I wanted to be sure I was not running and had not been running my race in vain. (Aku pergi berdasarkan suatu penyataan)

MOVING UP first before you MOVING FORWARD.

Moving forward is the second important movement; because God is always moving.

By the time we stop moving, we stop following God.

“…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run (moving forward) with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross…”

Hebrew 12:1-2

Whether you got hurt in the field, or you need some direction for your future, or you are facing your giant nowadays … MOVE UP to the mountain (get down on your knee with a heart that reaching out for Him, with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength), then don’t be too long stuck at your place where you are now – MOVE FORWARD with the eyes that fix on God (only God) – and don’t look back!

Jesus replied, "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

Luke 9:62

That’s all for today, I’m moving forward and moving ahead.

How bout you?

The greatest gift you can give is: YOU!

2011-05-10T19:50:00.000-07:00

Good morning world .. im having my self moment after dropping my son at his school, its kinda hectic around me right now, but its not hard to have a solitude and this is what im thinking and pursuing these days. Enjoy the reading!

I love the idea about being 'healthy', well in fact i wanna be healthy: i wanna grow old and becoming a healthy grandma for my grandchildren. Im seeing myself in the future so wealthy, happy, and healthy. I have a big family (not a big fat one), but a really really happy and healthy one. You know, there's only one book that talks about E V E R Y T H I N G. Yes, im not wrong saying that this book, the bible is the only book that talks about everything; including healthiness.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Romans 12:1

We dont just live for God, can i get an amen for this? We live in this world, some of you have a family, some of you are engaged, some of you maybe very young and living for yourself. But let me tell you something, the sadness thing in lifeis when we lost someone we love (our family, our spouse, our son/daughter, etc). I lost my dad when i was 27 years old, he was only 55 years old man (sadly he was not lived a healthy lives); my old man was not rich, was not tall, was not a manager or even an important man in a business world, he might not an important person for anybody outside my family, but he was an important man in my life, until today i still missed him in every sensitive moment in my life. You know, i didn't expect him to be rich, i just want him to be here on earth with me. And that would the greatest gift for me. Now, how bout you? I hope you can get all the big picture having a double effort to be healthy.

Quoting from Joyce Meyer that once said: The greatest gift that we can give to ourself, to God, to family, to our spouse, and even to other people is the healthy us. I think this one is so powerful. So many of us, we have tried to give everything else for others but ourselves. Gee, you know: the greatest gift you can give is: YOURSELF.

We are a "spirit, soul, and body" person. The three part of us should be healthy. In fact, there is a synergy between the three of them. Some people focusing on the body part first then to the soul and the spirit (from outside inside), while Paul on 1 Tes 5:23 focusing from the 'inside out' (start from the spirit, soul, and body)

Guys, we need to be and we have to be a healthy person (spirit, soul, body) - thats the greatest gift you can give. (even to yourself). A healthy spirit always have joy inside (because the spirit connect with God's spirit) that burst the soul (mind, emotion, and will) that will infect the body. from the inside out - let train our body to be fit and healthy. A healthy mind does not negative, while a healthy body does not overweight or minusweight (you eat right, in control, and having a regular fasting and regular sport activities).

Okey, so im saying this not because im already perfect, but because i need a friend in this journey to be healthy. How bout changing the world through our long lives on earth, and how bout giving the greatest gift to God, to our family, to our loved one, to our church, to this generation, and to ourselves?

Im hoping that you all gonna have an amazing and healthy day today.
Decide today to live healthy: spirit, soul, and body. Because the healthy person is the happy one and the happy person is a wealthy one. xoxo

Handling the truth: UPSIZE your HEART!

2011-05-10T03:35:00.000-07:00

I have to admit that these past two weeks was not my best moment; sometimes I say to myself “I cant handle this” “I just want to skip it, please” “I hate this situation” and “its too hurtful for me”. But I do believe that each moment in our lives brings a new perspective and of course a new learning. I’m more than willing to learn, I’m so in the awareness that I’ve got a lot of public mistake and even the private failures … and i just want to get up again and just shine! Am I too much? *smile

“But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”

Hebrew 5:14(NIV)

Tetapi makanan keras adalah untuk orang-orang dewasa, yang karena mempunyai pancaindera yang terlatih untuk membedakan yang baik dari pada yang jahat. Ibrani 5:14 (ITB)

PANCA INDERA YANG TERLATIH

Not everyone realize that ‘the heart’ is holding the biggest issue in our lives. Hati adalah jendela hidup kita, bahkan ekspresi wajah kita tercermin langsung dari kondisi hati kita. For me, ‘our heart’ is holding most of every issue in our lives; because we cannot distinguish the good , the bad, or even the evil using our physical eyes, ear, nose, or even our smart brain. No, we cant! We can only distinguish those through our most inner man – it’s the heart!

UPSIZE YOUR HEART;

For so many times and for so many situations in our lives, our hearts were only used to just ‘feel’ something (which is good) and this ‘feel’ creates ‘an emotion’ and produced ‘some important decision’ in our lives. But this is way too small if we only use our heart to just feel something. (because live is not just about feeling but also understanding)

The picture on the left is really explaining about upsizing our heart; Seringkali kita gak punya kapasitas hati yang cukup luas untuk menampung segala hal dalam hidup kita; entahkah itu hal yang baik, atau hal yang buruk, atau hal yang pedas, dll. Bayangkan lautan yang luas (wah, saya mau punya hati seluas lautan); di lempar air tinta segalon, lautan tetap punya kadar lautannya sendiri, dilempar merica satu box besar juga gak membuat air laut menjadi pedas, dan masih banyak lagi yang lainnya. Bayangkan hati kita saat ini; seringkali menjadi cepat kecewa, terburu-buru untuk putus asa, dan kadar hati kita bisa menjadi pahit. Ini membuktikan bahwa hati kita seperti gambar diatas yang digambarkan oleh aquarium kecil dengan ikan koki besar. Guys, its time to UPSIZE your heart.

Proverbs 4:23

(The Message) Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts

(NIV) Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.

(NKJV) Keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it spring the issues of life.

(ITB) Jagalah hatimu dengan segala kewaspadaan, karena dari situlah terpancar kehidupan.

There are four (4) thing that i've learn from these past two weeks about upsizing our heart; it included: 1) See with your heart, 2) Listen with your heart, 3) Speak from your heart, and 4) Serving with heart. (Notes: im planning to make each one of them a big topic for this daily blog. im looking forward for my nite time to write again)

Whenever you see some situation, see with your heart (picturing a big and wider perspective in your heart and see the whole situation; something your eyes cannot see). Listen with your heart (dont just listen with your ear, you've got to discern the voice inside your heart, the people's heart, specially God's heart - God always speak to the heart, if you never upsize your heart - you wont get a chance to listen those beautiful whisper that will set you free. Speak from your heart (ask wisdom) to translate your heart into words that will be landing on somebody's heart, and to God's heart. And last, Upsizing your heart is talking about 'serving with heart' (i dont mean skill is not important, but 'the heart' will make your ministry alive and different). so you wanna make a difference? Upsize your heart.

Have a good night everyone; it feels good to be able to connect with all of you again.

Cheers

Love God, Hate Sin

2011-05-09T02:54:00.001-07:00

Hello again lovely people .. Ive been thinking about this topic since last AMAZING Sunday Service. and the topic was like PUSHING me to focus on him, and i tell you .. it haunted me like crazy .. the topic, the word, the expression FILLED my day and DISTURBING me so much, until i decided to SIT alone and let my fingers FLOWS on the keypad. SO here it is .. :-)

Pro 8:13 Takut akan TUHAN ialah membenci kejahatan; aku benci kepada kesombongan, kecongkakan, tingkah laku yang jahat, dan mulut penuh tipu muslihat.

We need to understand that its not enough for us to just LOVE God; we also need to HATE SIN. Jangan hanya menjadi orang-orang yang mencintai Tuhan, tapi jadilah orang-orang yang membenci dosa dengan level yang tinggi. Some might say that membenci dosa itu AUTOMATICALLY terjadi ketika kita mencintai Tuhan. But the fact is, I found so many people who love GOD (who say that they’re love God) YET still berkubang di dalam dosanya.

Whether it’s AUTOMATIC or not, I do believe we need to HATE SIN. You know what happen when you HATE someone? (Maybe your ex-boyfriend, or maybe someone who hurt you in the past, or someone who took everything from you, or someone who kills your parents; maybe some disease like cancer, etc “oh how much I hate cancer with all my heart, it kills my dad) YES, we need that kind of HATE, that level of HATE to the SIN.

It’s been so long; I never heard people say that they’re HATE SIN, but yes I heard almost everyday that people LOVE GOD. And so many times, I heard the confession of people yang jatuh dalam dosa, yang mengakibatkan mereka BENCI DIRI SENDIRI bukan benci dosanya. If we don’t hate SIN, it won’t let you go. TONITE, there’s a holy anger inside of me, remembering each one of you, imagining your faces and STRIKING SINS behind you. I do STRONGLY HATE all kind of SIN in a very STRONG LEVEL and I mean it. It means WAR. *kerung face*

Think of it: Betapa DOSA sudah merusak hidupmu, merusak gambar dirimu, merusak masa depanmu, membuatmu muak akan dirimu sendiri. Whatever it is guys, think of it.. put it inside your mind, what was happened when you fall into sin? Was it DESTRUCTIVELY DESTRUCTED your life, your mind, your day? YES IT WAS. The joy was disappeared; your whole day filled with intimidation and imagined how PROUD the devil laughing at you, because basically the devil was just OFFERED you the thought not the sin. It COMES out from your thought, your DECISION that made you SIN.

It’s enough blaming yourself. It’s enough for SIN. Its even enough to just think about SIN. Let’s think about how God has created a BIG and AMAZING FUTURE for each one of you. Lets think about how you will CHANGE the world in the future. Lets think of what BLESSING, what RESPONSIBILITY that God has prepared for you. Its begin in your thought. Joyce mayer said that THE MIND is OUR BATTLEFIELD, that’s why to HATE SIN, we need to start from our mind.

TIPS FOR YOUR DAYS:
1. BEGIN YOUR DAY or END YOUR DAY dengan pikiran yang ditawan dan ditaklukan kepada KRISTUS. How? Just simply say it to the Lord dan mulai untuk berpikir benar. When it comes to YOUR MIND, no one can enter into your mind .. you control your mind. So better control it setelah ditaklukan kepada Kristus.

2Co 10:5 Kami mematahkan setiap siasat orang dan merubuhkan setiap kubu yang dibangun oleh keangkuhan manusia untuk menentang pengenalan akan Allah. Kami menawan segala pikiran dan menaklukkannya kepada Kristus.

“Aku mematahkan setiap siasat dan merubuhkan setiap kubu yang dibangun oleh keangkuhan ku sendiri untuk menentang pengenalan akan Allah. Aku menawan segala pikiran dan menaklukannya kepada Kristus”

2. BEGIN YOUR DAY or END YOUR DAY with the FAITH STATEMENT. Hey, you need it, your own EAR need to hear it, your soul need to hear it, your mind need to hear it. Say it loud into yourself; tunjuk dirimu sendiri dan perkatakan pada dirimu sendiri perkataan dibawah ini.

1Jo 3:9 Setiap orang yang lahir dari Allah, tidak berbuat dosa lagi; sebab benih ilahi tetap ada di dalam dia dan ia tidak dapat berbuat dosa, karena ia lahir dari Allah.

“Sebab aku lahir dari Allah, dan aku tidak berbuat dosa lagi; sebab benih ilahi tetap ada di dalam aku dan aku tidak dapat berbuat dosa, karena aku lahir dari Allah”

3. And HAVE A POWERFUL DAY everyone!

Keep STRONG and Do EXPLOITS

2011-05-09T02:47:00.000-07:00

Good day everyone! SOOOO glad that i could WRITE AGAIN. Hows life treating you? Hope all is well .. Lets learn something today.

So, its been a week im thinking about this subject, its been a week i meditated the word and bringing my heart back to the core of what is GOD really doing and what is GOD really wants me TO BE. And for one more time, it made me stumbled again at the CROSS, giving my life, re-newing my commitment, re-freshing OUR relationship and YES woohooo .. i know HE is alive and again HE made me FANATIC about HIM. Im all about HIM. My words, my days, my everything are all about HIM. YEs, call me FANATIC, call me FREAK .. i love those words. :-)

Ada satu kata kunci dari NOTES ini, yaitu: MENGENAL. Well its been an "ALWAYS" issue since before the creation, well actually since the OLD TESTAMENT. ITS ACTUALLY been GOD's DESIRE bahkan sampai menjadi pertanyaan favorite bagi Tuhan dan mungkin pertanyaan "intimidasi' untuk Murid-murid Nya waktu itu? :)

One times, Yesus bersama dengan murid-muridNYa dan timbul sebuah pertanyaan dari Tuhan sendiri Tuhan bertanya: "menurut engkau .. Siapakah AKU ini?" dan PETRUS yang langsung menjawab pertanyaan itu. WOW, imagining i was him, i would be so intimidated and a bit trembling thinking about the answer and how can i answer the "what the...?" question without hurting HIS heart YET saving my ass. *lol

SO TODAY as you read this notes, Jesus is asking the same question with the same tone as he asked to His DISCIPLES and He wants your answer. In the end, im going to let you answer the question to HIM or maybe you can share together with us.

All i want to do in this notes, is to TRIGGER you into more knowledge of Him and to gives you some TEST for you to answer HIS QUESTION. Are you ready?

Daniel 11:32
"...tetapi umat yang MENGENAL Allahnya akan tetap kuat dan akan bertindak"

i LIKE the english version:
but the people that do KNOW their God shall be STRONG, and DO EXPLOITS.

1. "The more you know HIM, the STRONGER you are"
Pengenalan itu sebuah kekuatan. Kenal dan tahu itu berbeda jauh. Saya tahu Bruce Willis, tapi saya tidak mengenalnya. Mengenal itu bicara soal HUBUNGAN. Ada relationship di dalamnya, there's a HEART INVOLVEMENT didalam sebuah pengenalan. Di dalam pengenalan, ada pemahaman. Di dalam pengenalan, ada pengertian. SO, what about GOD? Do we really know HIM like we suppose to have? The more i know my husband, semakin hati saya melekat pada dia. So today, there's some question that i want you to answer them quietly and secretly before GOD:
- Do you think you know your GOD?
- Apakah hatimu melekat pada DIA?
- For all these times, have you been STRONG enough?

If the answer is MOSTLY NO, then you need to know HIM. Get to know HIM. If you're not STRONG enough .. then maybe PENGENALANmu akan Tuhan masih dangkal. Karena orang yang mengenal Tuhan akan TETAP KUAT. You shall be STRONG.

2. The more you know HIM, the more EXPLOITS you will do"
i love the word "EXPLOITS". Orang yang mengenal Tuhan bukan hanya akan bertindak, TETAPI akan melakukan tindakan-tindakan yang menghasilkan LEDAKAN. IT simply means: IMPACTING. Ada dampak dari tindakan kita. Gak ada BOM manapun atau sekecil apapun yang tidak berdampak. Lets ask ourselves again this morning:
- Di saat semua orang menyerah, apakah kita ikut menyerah atau BERTINDAK?
- Apakah tindakan kita berdampak untuk sekeliling kita?
- Apakah kita tahu bahwa kita harus BERTINDAK rather than to wait someone?

IF the answer is MOSTLY NO, then you need to know Him. Get to know HIM. Kalau selama ini dalam segala hal engkau hanya diam, dan tidak bertindak .. somethings missing. Because Jesus died on the cross not so that we could just SIT and watch, but for us to MOVE OUR ASS and DO SOMETHING even DO EXPLOITS. If so, .. then maybe PENGENALANMU akan Tuhan masih dangkal. Karena orang yang mengenal Tuhan akan bertindak. YOU WILL DO EXPLOITS.

3."The more you know HIM, the more you will worship HIM"

Why cant people worship Him? or at least enjoying the praise and worship part at church? Ada banyak jawaban dari pertanyaan ini: Well, mungkin sound kurang baik, atau mungkin singers bersuara fals, atau the COMMON thing is orang merasa asing dengan lagunya atau juga orang kurang cocok dengan suasana praise and worshipnya, etc etc etc. BUT you know what, THE MAIN REASON why people cant enjoy the worship time, its because they dont know WHOM they worshiped.

Semakin kita mengenal seseorang, semakin MUDAH untuk kita memuja muja dan bahkan menyembah orang tersebut. The more i encounter my husband in his daily lives; watching him working, eating, enjoying the view while he was asleep and look into his deep eyes .. it BOOST my love for him. I find that its very easy to love him. My anger does not BIGGER than my love; his foolishness is covered, his weakness is covered. Because i know him, i encounter him everyday, i talk to him like everytime, and he is in my mind; my friend, my brother, my teacher, my husband, my soulmate.

SO, this is my answer for JESUS's question: "Essly, menurut kamu siapakah AKU ini?"
Menurut orang-orang, Kau adalah JURUSELAMAT YANG HIDUP. Itu yang pertama saya dengar tentang ENGKAU. Its been 10 years sampai hari ini; BAGI SAYA, Engkau RAJA yang berhati seorang BAPA, Engkau bukan hanya JURUSELAMAT, tapi ENGKAU RAJA. Selama 10 tahun ini, Engkau PENOLONG dan PEMBELA semua ketidakadilan yang saya hadapi. Engkau Tuhan yang juga KEKASIH jiwaku, Memerintah dengan CINTA, Menghajar karena CINTA, dan MATI karena CINTA tapi juga BANGKIT karena CINTA. Engkau BAPA yang layak disembah.

This last paragraph, kita lihat sama-sama apa yang Yesus katakan kepada PETRUS ketika Yesus mendengar jawaban dari PETRUS:

Mat 16:15 Lalu Yesus bertanya kepada mereka: "Tetapi apa katamu, siapakah Aku ini?"
Mat 16:16 Maka jawab Simon Petrus: "Engkau adalah Mesias, Anak Allah yang hidup!"
Mat 16:17 Kata Yesus kepadanya: "Berbahagialah engkau Simon bin Yunus sebab bukan manusia yang menyatakan itu kepadamu, melainkan Bapa-Ku yang di sorga.
Mat 16:18 Dan Akupun berkata kepadamu: Engkau adalah Petrus dan di atas batu karang ini Aku akan mendirikan jemaat-Ku dan alam maut tidak akan menguasainya.

Petrus mengenal Tuhan, Petrus memiliki pengertian tentang siapa YESUS bagi dia. Dan Petrus (yang menyangkal Yesus, yang sembrono, yang plin plan, yang asal ngomong, yang cepet bertindak dan kemudian menyesal) Tuhan ganti dengan istilah BATU KARANG. (melambangkan kekuatan dan kekokohan yang bukan PETRUS sama sekali) dan lagi, YESUS berkata: "Di atas BATU KARANG ini AKU akan MENDIRIKAN jemaatKu dan ALAM MAUT tidak akan menguasainya.

Artinya: Pengenalan mu pribadi akan siapa TUHAN akan menentukan apa yang akan Tuhan NYATAKAN dalam hidupmu dan apa yang akan Tuhan KERJAKAN dalam hidupmu.

So its your turn now to answer the question ...
Selamat mengenal Tuhan, Selamat jadi kuat, Selamat utk bertindak, dan Selamat menyembah!

How much do you want HIM?

2011-05-09T02:46:00.000-07:00

WHAT IS THE POINT BEING SOMEWHERE WHERE PEOPLE DOESNT WANT YOU TO BE THERE?

This question has been haunting me since last Sunday. I was leading worship in the 2nd Thebridge Service and i was standing there lift up my hand, my head, my heart to God and just WANT HIM more. My heart realized that, My body language expressed that, and my tears was the FINAL expression. Some words HIT me that says "GOD WILL NEVER AROUND IN A PLACE WHERE PEOPLE DOESN'T WANT HIM" ("Tuhan tidak hadir ditempat DIA tidak diinginkan")

And few second on that stage, i was SPEECHLESS and asking GOD "God please i want YOU, they want YOU .. please be here, and not just be here, but RULE within us among us. BE the KING among us. I want You, i was saying with the heart that SOLD OUT without shame and abandoning the sweats all over my body; i was so broken and i just so WANT HIM. That second, i was like alone standing there, i forgot there were a musician, and singers. I just want HIM, and i INSIST GOD.

So i will throw this question to you all, so you all can have something to meditate today, or maybe something to add your revelation, or maybe just a reminder for you. Enjoy!

"HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT GOD?"

Psalm 73:25
"Siapa gerangan ada padaku di sorga selain Engkau? Selain Engkau tidak ada yang kuingini di bumi.
"Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.

As a quite famous girl in high school *rolling eyes*, of course there's a boys line up to be my boyfriend. lol* this one is true and i cant find another examples as good as this guys *sigh* So please stop laughing! lol
Oke so, in order of choosing who should i picked *lol* i would CHECK which one is the MOST CRAZY about me, and i would say YES to the one who WANT me really really really WANT me even he should be embarrassed by his ACT of WANTING ME (not in the secret place, but IN THE PUBLIC PLACE)

and you know what, so is GOD. i didn't say that GOD is a GIRL, but we (male and female) were created in the image of GOD. Have you noticed that WE (male and female) has GOD's IMAGE. and i believe HE IS AS STRONG AS A STRONGEST MAN BUT HE IS AS SOFT AS A SOFTEST FEMALE. BUT HE is not a girl. HE PUT His nature into Male and Female; different but EQUAL and HIS image. How cool is that, huh?

Well, When He's not around, and when you CANT FEEL Him .. its time for you to check your heart "DO I STILL WANT GOD? HOW MUCH I WANT GOD?" Because ..

WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING AROUND YOU WHEN YOU DON'T WANT HIM

David has this desire, BIG and CRAZY desire. Read again those Psalm above; There is no one i want in this earth beside YOU. What a desire and what a love. Today, if you are far from GOD, its not because He leave you, hey you are the one who leave HIM. Today, if your cell group is DRY, its not because God doesnt want to bless your cellgroup, its maybe because no one in the cell group WANT HIM? Because ..

WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING AROUND YOU WHEN YOU DON'T WANT HIM

Today, if our church is DRY, and you feel that you know that .. then somethings is missing. Its not wrong DOING lots of thing, its not wrong DOING PROGRAMS, its not wrong .. its not wrong .. Today, if the atmosphere is NO GOD, its not because HE doesn't want to be there, here with us. Because ..

WHAT IS THE POINT OF BEING AROUND US WHEN WE DON'T WANT HIM

As a leader, as a person, as a son or a daughter, as a servant, any title you have .. i just want to ask you to do something together with me. LETS WANT HIM, lets build the atmosphere of WANTING HIM more; at your home, in the cell group, in the church, in every meeting we have; lets come with the heart that WANTING HIM more. This level of WANTING HIM should grow, grow, grow ..

When we WANT HIM, we'll do EVERYTHING to HAVE HIM, even in the MOST DRY Atmosphere we will still stand up and want HIM. Even everybody seems doesn't WANT HIM, the one who WANT HIM will BREAK the ATMOSPHERE and will CHANGE the ATMOSPHERE. why? its because the brokenness of wanting HIM. Your body language will show it, your ACT will show it, your words will show it, even you wont be embarrassed to do anything just to HAVE HIM, because you have THE LONGING and THE DESIRE. THE WANTING of HIM will haunt you each breath you take.

This longing, This desire has change me. and i believe this same longing, and this same desire like DAVID has, will change you as well. wow i cant wait to see and to feel the change.

Okay, now you know what to do .. im gonna leave you for now.
I pray for you and i love you all.
Cheers,

Stimulating other to seek God

2011-05-09T02:45:00.002-07:00

eoYoww .. wazz up?!! Please dont judge the notes by the HEADER *lol* So this time, im going to share what happen in my mind these days .. NOT YET having the answer .. but i need a company to THINK, THINK, THINK (like winnie the pooh said: if you have a problem THINK, THINK, THINK *lol - too much cartoon these days i guess)

As a mom, kata 'stimulasi' has become a POWERFUL word for me; its a very normal vocab in my daily lives well now it STRUCK me when it comes to the spiritual thing. As a mom, i was taught not too often DO and DONT's to my baby .. i was taught to STIMULATE his inteligence; merangsang inderanya untuk berkembang sendiri (okay, i promise i wont use bahasa roh dalam hal ini bahasa kedokteran khususnya bahasa ibu dan anak dan dokter anak) hahaha

Couple years ago, i was listening one man were saying "Bahwa kita hidup di generasi post-modern" (hold on guys till the end .. you'll get something i promise :)) Now let me tell you the characteristic of this post-modern people:
- Rasio adalah Tuhan mereka. Segala sesuatu dicurigai sampai ada bukti yang dapat diterima oleh akal manusia
- Anti berlembaga dan Anti mapan. Segala sesuatu akan menuju kepada perubahan, termasuk KEBENARAN.
- Tidak suka diGURUI apalagi diPERINTAH
- Kebenaran itu RELATIF tidak MUTLAK

Yeah, you know what guys: sedikit terlambat untuk membahas generasi post-modern, karena generasi yang akan datang adalah generasi platinum (WHAT??!! - wait for the next notes later later later) BUT never too late to learn. BUT better not late sih *halah*

POSTMODERN - Era matinya modernisme; yang telah memasuki seluruh masyarakat (mulai dari GAYA astitektur, jadi budaya: musik, fashion, cara berpikir, dan juga film, tidak terkecuali juga hal-hal rohani. Modernisme menggabungkan kebenaran dengan rasio, tapi Postmodernisme itu menolak kebenaran mutlak bahkan mencari sesuatu yang lebih tinggi dari rasio) .. oke im gonna stop now before you're all throw up. (if you want to know more, just googling those words)

So, these days i've been thinking about this words "STIMULATING"
- Gimana caranya "menstimulasi" orang2 untuk penasaran dan mencintai Tuhan yang saya sembah
- "menstimulasi" indera mereka, roh mereka untuk mencari Tuhan
- "menstimulasi" dan "merangsang" roh dan jiwa mereka untuk benar2 menginginkan Tuhan.

GUYS, this is our task .. to STIMULATE their spirit to SEEK GOD, not to JUDGE them, not to YELL to them from the stage, not to SUGGEST them, and not even enough just to be with them all day long. You need to STIMULATE them until they have a STRONG WILLING, that HUNGER and THIRST like you have, until they MEET God.

How many of us STRESS and get DEPRESS meeting this kind of people; Yang sangat KRITIS (menjatuhkan bukan membangun) dan bahkan perlu bukti sana sini untuk setiap kata di ALKITAB. wow .. what a people we meet. They're like expecting even insisting us to be "Ahli-Ahli Taurat"

While im writing this notes, wow suddenly i remembered one verse which i LIKE LIKE LIKE LIKE
Luk 24:32 Kata mereka seorang kepada yang lain: "Bukankah HATI KITA BERKOBAR-KOBAR, ketika Ia berbicara dengan kita di tengah jalan dan ketika Ia menerangkan Kitab Suci kepada kita?"

Luk 24:32 And they said one to another, Did not OUR HEART BURN WITHIN US, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?

Hey, thats the answer .. HOW to stimulate people to SEEK God .. We must let JESUS SPEAK through us. Ayat diatas menceritakan bagaimana murid-murid Yesus berjumpa dengan seorang pria (padahal YESUS yg baru saja bangkit dan menemui mereka namun mereka tidak mengenalinya) dan HEYY .. what did they say? i'll HIGHLIGHT this one as the closing for this notes:

"BUKANKAH hati kita BERKOBAR-KOBAR"
"DID not OUR HEARTS BURN within us"

Waktu Yesus berbicara, perkataannya membuat HATI ORANG BERKOBAR-KOBAR .. wow. Jesus was STIMULATING them to SEEK HIM more, to FIND HIM more. Wow ..
Let this be your prayer tonite as you read this notes. this is the answer for your DRY cell group, for your DRY spirit, for your spiritual children's growth, for your church, and specially handling the POST-MODERN people .. YOU NEED TO LET JESUS Himself SPEAK through you .. then when you leave them .. they will say one another EXACTLY the same like those verse:

"Bukankah hati kita BERKOBAR-KOBAR ketika Dia bebicara dengan kita ..."
"Did not our hearts BURN within us when HE talked with us ..."

So, this is the last thought:
When was the last time your heart BURNED for GOD? Because you can only bring people as fas as you go. (Ketempat kemana kau pernah ada, kesitulah kau akan bawa orang2) You will never be able to bring people to a place where you havent been there before.

SOAK UP into Him tonite and GET DRAWN in HIM.
This is amazing .. You guys are amazing .. and i pray tonite for each one of you, for every cell group and for every family, and also NOT FORGET for the POST-MODERN generation where we live now and for the COMING PLATINUM generation :-) i pray for you all .. and i love you all.

xoxo

3 things you must have

2011-05-09T02:45:00.001-07:00

Hello again peeps! My hearts are BURNING and it BEATS like crazy (this one is because a coffee *lol)

Well, thinking about a few days back when I had a chance to sit and talk with "echi" and the next day again sit and chat with "presi" and this day READING all the comments about "STIMULATING" things. I realized that most of us HAVE THE SAME issue living in this generation.Each one of us is a "servant YET a leader" for some people, some school, some university, some community CHOOSEN by God Himself and I'm OVERWHELMED how God met us in this world like now. SELAH (pause and just imagine this for awhile :))

Its not easy being a Christian Leader. I was saying to echi that day "kayanya lebih gampang gw kalo jadi manager sebuah perusahaan chiw, gak suka bisa langsung pecat aja and no heart feeling" but IF SO, then we're not IMITATING God.

You know what, CHURCH is all about GOD who is all about PEOPLE. So welcome to the real life, real people, and real ministry when it comes to the "PEOPLE BUILDING"

No worries, I found 3things that we need to have as a leader for you to keep STAND UP and SMILE even the TEARS falling down :-)

1. HATI YANG LUAS
Berhubungan sama orang itu gak mudah. Karena Amsal berkata "besi menajamkan besi, manusia menajamkan sesamanya" so whether you face the older person, or a younger or maybe one level with you; you need to have this kind of heart. Hati yang luasss bahkan lebih luas dari samudera.

2. PEOPLE ENCOURAGEMENT
Untuk hal, gak diragukan lagi you guys are ROCK and the EXPERT .. Even though you were having your OWN PROBLEM, you still INVESTING your TIME to listen, to encourage, and to pray for them or with them. NO DOUBT!
3. SELF ENCOURAGEMENT
Nah, this one the last one that I myself MANY TIMES STRUGGLING to build up myself, myhope, myfaith. BUT, you need to have this. Number 3 is a MUST HAVE. If you cannot encourage yourself, the FAITH won't come, you'll get depress, and one day you'll end up di RS JIWA *ngeri benerr*

Learning for today:
Encourage yourself like you encourage others. Yes like that!! You can maybe see the mirror. But the BEST thing to do this is: SPEAK IN TONGUE. BUILD UP yourself and FEEL the Adrenalin pushing you to the TOP.

(Tonite, I'll finish this notes with all the verses and everything)

But right now, HAVE FUN you all. You are God's idea, God's project, and God's property.

Xoxo

No more Excuses

2011-05-09T02:44:00.001-07:00

I was preaching at THEBRIDGE a month ago about the HOT TOPIC. So I would write it down again imagining that it would be more blessing for more people and I do believe that if some of you who was there when I preached this topic, you would GET SOMETHING again when you re-read this. Enjoy, be change, and let’s make a difference.

NO MORE EXCUSES
I was sitting in front of my computer and typing “excuses” on Google. And guess what, I found an interesting site about “the mother of all excuses”. There’s a HUNDRED even THOUSAND excuses human made for one occasion and I decided to close the tab. Leaving me thinking about those WORD, I suddenly remembered my Senior Pastor Ps Nala Widya. Dari sepanjang pengenalan saya terhadap beliau, I think I can sum up some of the little thing from his life. In his life, ada 3 kosa kata yang gak pernah disebut: SUSAH, TIDAK BISA, TIDAK MUNGKIN. Same thing I GOT this from the freakin’ Ps Victor my spiritual father.

Beranjak dari pemikiran itu, ya well timbul satu kerinduan untuk semua anak-anak muda (including me) untuk punya GAYA HIDUP yang sama. Hey, they’re a MAN OF GOD. And look at their lives, come on. Now let’s look to the BIBLE.

1. ADAM & HAWA
Kejadian 2:9-10
Tetapi TUHAN Allah MEMANGGIL manusia itu dan berfirman kepadanya: “Dimanakah engkau?” Ia menjawab “Ketika aku mendengar, bahwa Engkau ada dalam taman ini, aku menjadi TAKUT, karena aku telanjang, sebab itu aku bersembunyi.”
2. MUSA
Keluaran 4:10-12
Lalu kata Musa kepada Tuhan: “Ah, Tuhan, aku ini TIDAK PANDAI BICARA, dahulupun tidak dan sejak Engkau berfirman kepada hamba-hamba-Mu pun tidak …”
Berapa banyak dari kita SERING mendengar alasan seperti yang ADAM dan HAWA katakan dan juga yang MUSA katakan. “Saya Takut” dan “Saya Gak Bisa” Wow, what a common excuses we heard nowadays, right.

And, I believe every human has THE RIGHT EXCUSES, punya segudang alasan bahkan WE often HAVE A GOOD & EXCELLENT excuses dan YA ternyata Alkitab pun menceritakan sebuah perumpaan tentang orang-orang yang berdalih di Lukas 14:16-21. Ternyata ada 3 alasan baik yang biasa orang-orang utarakan yang juga tercatat di Alkitab:

1. POSSESION (harta)
I still remembered the first time I jumped into the ministry; it was ketika saya sedang mengerjakan Tugas AKHIR (TA) saya. Btw, saya kuliah di jurusan DESAIN INTERIOR dan TA saya waktu itu adalah “Children Hospital” (The hardest project in Interior Design that moment). And HEY, I have an EXCELLENT excuse untuk gak melayani, untuk gak merintis sebuah pergerakan di sekolah Yahya waktu itu. I have a GOOD excuse, dan waktu saya CINTA banget dengan TA saya; TA saya waktu itu adalah harta saya. It was my possession for me to become a good interior designer, and I was enjoying every minute of doing my Last Project (Tugas Akhir)

2. VOCATION (Misi Pribadi)
Everyone of us has their own personal mission; they have their own vocation and its GOOD. Its Fine until it becomes YOUR EVERYTHING specially excuses for not seeking and serving God.
My Husband and I, we definitely have our vocation in life. But my husband is a man of God, he love God extraordinary and he dedicated his life his time to help the church in the MULTIMEDIA things. It all started with ONLY him, I remembered waktu itu masih pake OHP, sampai PROJECTOR bahkan sampai making the video; any kind of video: opening video for Sunday service, until today we have Announcement video host by our local VJ. And it took him 4 years to DO ALL THAT all by himself. Noticed that he’s a graphic design and he has a lot of project and that 4 years he dedicated; ALL HEART for God, for Church, and for the people. He’s a graphic designer who have a mission to be THE BEST GRAPHIC ENGINEER IN THE WORLD and he gave it all to God. Tuhan pakai dia waktu itu untuk jadi operator OHP.

3. FAMILY (keluarga)
Seems this one is THE BEST excuses in the world to not seeking and serving GOD. Im gladly to say, that you can look to our life and DO IMITATE us when you have a family. HAVING A BABY is an EXCELENT excuses to not serving God, because well maybe you can say that YOU WANT TO SERVE FAMILY atau juga GIVE THE BEST untuk family yang Tuhan sudah percayakan or else.

Ketiga hal diatas merupakan GOOD EXCUSES dan I believe GOD wont get depress if you’re not serving God anyway; He gave you FREEWILL and its your choice. But let me tell you what happen to us when we serve God instead making a THOSE GOOD EXCUSE: me, my husband, and also my baby boy

For me: I gave Him my possession, and HE gave more some more possession in life. Im imagining apa yang terjadi kalau waktu itu saya gak terjun ke sekolah Yahya, hari ini gak ada movement youth yang lebih besar lagi. Gak kebayang kalau waktu itu saya gak menginvestasikan hidup untuk 18 orang anak yahya; karena hari ini 18 anak Yahya menjadi para perintis kegerakan anak muda di sekolah-sekolah lain; dari yahya, mengalir ke Smuk1, Smuk2, Taruna bakti, SMP Rehoboth, SMA Kalam Kudus, SMP BPK4, dItenas, SMP7, SMAN16, SMAN22, komunitas sepeda, SMP Yahya, SMP Advent, SMP Gamaliel, gak lupa juga SMP SMA Paulus. If I made an excuses that day; there wont be another change for another youth to hear about the gospel and to encounter an amzing family in cell group. If I made an excuse that day; there wont be another leader rising up like today. They’re so YOUTH, STRONG, and PASSIONATE people. Isn’t HE AMAZING GOD?

For my husband (Brian): He gave his mission, he gave it all to God, He gave it all because of his desire to see GOD’s house are filled with YOUNG PEOPLE. And He did everything to make GOD’s house were attracted through Multimedia, through Video (and he learn everything all by himself), and also through magazine. And today, after 4 year he had one person who have a BIG heart for the church, and a FAN of Jesus, and also a multimedia person who finally rising up Multimedia CREW. And God gave him more than he was expected. God gave him more than his own mission, He gave another vocation. He used to be called as a graphic designer, now he was known as a GRAPHIC DESIGNER and also a graphic artist. Through his life experiences, he created a character that now SOLD OUT through out the internet. And last month, he was together with his friend in Singapore having their own TOYS EXHIBITION. Isn’t HE AMAZING GOD? Today, what he achieved is more than his own mission, its way bigger than we ever thought.

For my baby boy (Max): We gave his life to God, we think that we cannot take care him like GOD can take care of him. We believe that we can’t provide him everything like GOD can provide everything for him. I took him everywhere I go, even when I went to school to visit some of my spiritual children. He grows in car with us. Today, among every baby, he’s the only baby boy who enjoy the praise n worship in church (standing together with others right in front of the stage) and (I believe) he is the most TALKATIVE baby boy, and today, he is a toddler student in a HIGH CLASS and VERY EXPENSIVE school. Who pay for his school? Not his daddy or his mom. Someone called me one night karena orang tersebut kepikiran Max terus semingguan dan terbeban untuk sponsorin Max sekolah. Isn’t He JEHOVAH JIREH?

Church, ada banyak alasan untuk tidak melayani Tuhan bahkan ada banyak alasan baik dan sangat kuat, tapi maukah kita selalu temukan alasan untuk selalu melayani Tuhan dalam hidup kita? Dan ini adalah gaya hidup yang harus dibangun bersama. Untuk membuat perubahan dan yang pasti untuk kemuliaan nama Tuhan, demi generasi yang akan datang. By not making an excuse, we are worshiping God and making a legacy. Because it’s not just about your destiny, but it’s about your legacy.
Be blessed and let’s make a difference.

Spiritual yet Fun

2011-05-09T02:42:00.002-07:00

Good morning everybody! I just came back from a morning prayer, it was AWESOME, you should be there .. yeah its a bit hard to wake up, BUT then you'll craving for it MORE and MORE. So come tomorrow to our prayer meeting; EXPECTING BIG, TOUCHING GOD, and CHANGES the ATMOSPHERE. So well, this morning im going to share about what i've been thinking this past few weeks along with my 11 years journey in the Christianity. So hows life by the way? HOPE ITS ALL GOOD according to GOD's plan.

LETS BEGIN!
Kita manusia terdiri dari: tubuh, jiwa, roh. Dont you know that our bible specifically mengurutkannya sebagai berikut: roh, jiwa, dan tubuh. Dont need to debate about what should be in the first priority, let me share what i've been through and what i commit my self to be, and what i want you the readers to be. So, siapapun kita specially you;re the NEW BORN CHRISTIAN, you should realize that you are a SPIRITUAL PERSON.

Since 1998, i've met all kind of spiritual peoples:
- VERY SPIRITUAL; everywhere he goes, speak, do, he always talk about spiritual thing.
- SO-SO Spiritual; not too excited about the spiritual thing, more excited about the performance thing.
- NOT SPIRITUAL; everywhere he goes, speak, do, he never talk about spiritual thing.

Well, i've been in all those level of spiritual christianity, and its oke if you've been there too. Its now im going to talk about. So dari tahun 1998, saya bertemu dengan banyak orang rohani, di awal-awal tahun kelahiran baru saya, saya dikelilingi oleh orang-orang yang: BERNUBUAT, mengadakan MUJIZAT, melayani PELEPASAN, dan PENGLIHATAN, et cetera. And i enjoyed every second of it and i LEARNED a lot. BUT YET someday, i saw most of them were backsliding (berbalik dari Tuhan); some of them were BITTER, un-SUBMIT, SINS, and Tenggelam di dalam dunia dimana seharusnya dia jadi terang.

Singkat kata, itu membuat saya menganalisa (oh this is so me *lol), berpikir, dan membuat sebuah rumusan dalam hati yang menciptakan sebuah TRAUMA akan orang-orang yang NGEROH. Kejadian yang terus berulang membuat saya makin TRAUMA dan ANTIPATI.

Lupa tahun kapan, but me and my spiritual children pernah ada di titik dan situasi KITA TIDAK SPIRITUAL. We are THE FUN PEOPLE who goes to Church, we tried to make the church is cool, the community is cool, but YET gak ada isinya "TONG KOSONG NYARING BUNYINYA" Sampai saya bertobat dan menganalisa (oh well, this is so me again *lol) dan memutuskan dalam hati untuk merubah haluan.

Some question that we should answer in our deep heart are:
- You may be a spiritual person, but are a FUN person to be with or to share with?
- You got something from GOD about "someone" and you know that you need to tell it straight, how do you tell them? and so far, what is their reaction hearing about your "revelation" or "vision" about them?
- You are a spiritual person, and how many un-spiritual friend do you have?
- Try imagine you are in somebody's shoes, do you like "you"?

A wise man told me one thing, bahwa:
"Kita harus jadi orang-orang yang EXPERT membangun hubungan dan memperbaiki hubungan" This is the KEY in our SPIRITUAL yet FUN life. We need to remember that NOT EVERYBODY understand about the spiritual thing yang kita dapatkan. Thats why we need to be EXPERT untuk menterjemahkan "KATA TUHAN" kepada orang dan kapan menyampaikannya.

This is what i change from my life:
I have to build relationship with as many people as i can, so that i can be GOD's messenger for their lives. (isn't is VERY SPIRITUAL? -YES it is) and how i tell them about GOD; masing-masing berbeda. How i build them one by one, masing-masing berbeda.

For the fashion people, i need to TALK about fashion. Thats why i need to learn at least know about fashion, and RELATE what GOD SAID to his life. It'll attract for her listening to GOD's word through me. Maybe i can say: Well, every fashion has a designer, and you know what every one of us also has a DESIGNER. etc. IT IS FAR MORE BETTER THAN saying: Repent!! Because GOD is so angry to you, and you know what.. HE IS YOUR DESIGNER, and you are HIS DESIGN.

For the youth people, i have to be like the youth. I need to be with them for a while before i can lead them, guide them, and bring them into GOD's KINGDOM. I have to speak like ayouth, think like a youth, so they will hear me.

For the OLDER people, i have to respect them. Learning not to say: "Saya dapatkan dari Tuhan bahwa bla bla bla .. dan dipastikan mereka akan BEREAKSI and you will not gonna like it.

So, we have to THINK how to be a FUN PERSON to be with, to share lives with, before you can be a SPIRITUAL PERSON to somebody. Its not just about BALANCE, its about "bagaimana hati Tuhan supaya sampai ke orang-orang yang kita layani"

Paulus is a FUN PERSON to be with and a SPIRITUAL PERSON and HE WON lots of people as long as HE lives;
1Co 9:19 Sungguhpun aku bebas terhadap semua orang, aku menjadikan diriku hamba dari semua orang, supaya aku boleh memenangkan sebanyak mungkin orang.
1Co 9:20 Demikianlah bagi orang Yahudi aku menjadi seperti orang Yahudi, supaya aku memenangkan orang-orang Yahudi. Bagi orang-orang yang hidup di bawah hukum Taurat aku menjadi seperti orang yang hidup di bawah hukum Taurat, sekalipun aku sendiri tidak hidup di bawah hukum Taurat, supaya aku dapat memenangkan mereka yang hidup di bawah hukum Taurat.
1Co 9:21 Bagi orang-orang yang tidak hidup di bawah hukum Taurat aku menjadi seperti orang yang tidak hidup di bawah hukum Taurat, sekalipun aku tidak hidup di luar hukum Allah, karena aku hidup di bawah hukum Kristus, supaya aku dapat memenangkan mereka yang tidak hidup di bawah hukum Taurat.
1Co 9:22 Bagi orang-orang yang lemah aku menjadi seperti orang yang lemah, supaya aku dapat menyelamatkan mereka yang lemah. Bagi semua orang aku telah menjadi segala-galanya, supaya aku sedapat mungkin memenangkan beberapa orang dari antara mereka.

AND, i believe JESUS is a FUN PERSON to be with and to share lives with and HE is a VERY SPIRITUAL PERSON (Come on, He is GOD); See how the children mingle around HIM, see bagaimana orang berdosa gak takut untuk berbicara dengan DIA, see bagaimana orang-orang sakit menginginkan DIA, see bagaimana dari para nelayan, perempuan-perempuan, orang sakit, anak kecil bahkan pemungut cukai ber SAHABAT dengan DIA. Selain DIA adalah Tuhan, sangat spiritual, i believe HE IS A FUN PERSON TO BE WITH.

So today, lets check .. apakah orang-orang betah berada di sekitar kita? Rasanya orang berdosa pun menjadi segan kalau melihat kita, because they think we are TOO HOLY, dan apakah orang-orang bersahabat dengan kita yang SPIRITUAL? IF NOT, itu berarti kita harus rubah haluan.

So be VERY SPIRITUAL but YET a FUN person to be with.
Goals: Supaya pesan Tuhan bisa masuk ke setiap orang yang kita jumpai.
Things to consider and to do:
- Be an EXPERT di dalam membangun hubungan dan memperbaiki hubungan dengan level manapun
- Like a WATER; kita masuk ke dalam kehidupan mereka, dan sampai mereka masuk juga ke dalam kehidupan kita, then the WORD OF GOD can easily flows.
- BE CREATIVE to say ANYTHING about SPIRITUAL LIFE. Remember our GOALs: Kita buat segala cara supaya pesan Tuhan masuk, didengar, dan diterima mereka. Tanggung jawabnya ada pada kita.
- Learn the ART OF knowing THE RIGHT TIME to say the SPIRITUAL THING. Well, in this world like this everytime is like a wrong time .. but we need to UNDERSTAND though.
- This is the most important thing: DO IT WITH LOVE.
- STOP judging, REMEMBER names, APPRECIATE MORE than to CRITIZE, Stop talking and just BE an EXAMPLE, BOLD AGAINTS SIN, yet lemah lembut menghadapi orang, LISTEN MORE. If you wanna talk to them you need to HEAR THEM MORE LONGER THAN YOU NEED TO TALK.
- Last but not least: BE FUN, and HAVE FUN in your christianity journey OTHERWISE, you wont be a FUN person to be with.

ps: remember that we are a SPIRITUAL person and have to be SPIRITUAL and discuss SPIRITUAL thing and come up with the SPIRITUAL IDEAS and SOLUTIONS, but you need to BE a FUN PERSON to share about those SPIRITUAL THING specially with the NOT TOO SPIRITUAL PEOPLE or maybe with the NON-SPIRITUAL PERSON. if we ourselves are not a FUN person and really having FUN in our spiritual lives, how come they will believe what we said? *think of it*

So i guess, im gonna leave you to think for a while, if need .. rubah haluan dan change your style.
HAVE FUN TODAY y'all

Example for the Believers

2011-05-09T02:42:00.001-07:00

Helo again peeps! Counting down to the year 2010 i believe this notes will inspire you and to shape you to become a better person RIGHT BEFORE THE 2010 is BEGIN. Yeah well, not this notes actually, but again the WORD that become FLESH that will change you, transform you, and make you. So here it is .. enjoy every word, slowly chew the word, and be transform!

I do believe that "People SILENTLY JUDGE us" if you're agree with me just NOD your head (angguk angguk.red) Ada sebuah ayat yang udah gak asing di telinga kita kayanya, it sounds like this:

.............
Jangan seorangpun menganggap engkau rendah karena engkau muda. Jadilah teladan bagi orang-orang percaya, dalam perkataanmu, dalam tingkah lakumu, dalam kasihmu, dalam kesetiaanmu dan dalam kesucianmu. 1 Timotius 4:12
.............
Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12
.............

Let me ask you .. kapan terakhir kali ada seseorang merendahkan kamu, right in front of your face and he said "You are such a LOW person. JERK!" Saya percaya jarang banget itu terjadi, mungkin beberapa dari kita gak pernah juga mengalami pengalaman kaya gitu. ngeri bener kalo emang itu terjadi. BUT BUT BUT percaya gak, bahwa PEOPLE SILENTLY JUDGE US. Instead of yeah well kita gak bole nge judge orang dan bla bla bla, tapi orang secara SILENT, in their own heart, in their own mind .. mereka menilai siapa kita dimata mereka lewat PERKATAAN, TINGKAH LAKU, KASIH, KESETIAAN, dan KESUCIAN.

Thats why, PAULUS concern banget sama TIMOTIUS yang adalah anak rohaninya. He BOLDY say to Tim "Jangan SEORANGPUN (seorangpun) menganggap engkau RENDAH karena engkau muda. Wow, baru kali ini kayanya saya lebih suka terjemahan indonesianya, lebih BOLD, TAJAM, gue banget gitu. *lol*

Next, he said JADILAH TELADAN. Be an example of the believers. Ini simple banget untuk ditulis memang dan agak sulit waktu praktek, but we have to do it anyway. Then Paul give some of the points where we 'youth' sering dianggap rendah dan sekaligus points yang sama mengenai di area mana kita jadi teladan.

1. PERKATAAN
I have to admit, that many times my words are FASTER than my brain. This is one of my leak guys. Those who know me will SMILE and NOD now *grin face* lol. Seringkali anak muda dianggap rendah lewat perkataan kita; Becanda-becandaan kita lah, ato latah-latah kita lah, ato umpatan-umpatan kita. Selain itu, lewat curhatan kita pun orang bisa nilai kita itu orang macam apa, rendah kah, " berpendidikankah, atau so so lah. Thats why we have to control perkataan kita, jangan kaya "kecipirit". mind my words but thats the best example how to explain it anyway. *peace finger*

Kitab Yakobus membahas cukup banyak soal "lidah" betapa lidah itu bagian tubuh yang kecil tapi seperti api yang walaupun kecil bisa membakar sebuah hutan besar. Dengan lidah kita memuji Tuhan, dengan lidah yang sama kita mengutuki orang. Mungkin gak sampai mengutuki, tapi perkataan keputusasaan, perkataan pesimis, perkataan kasar. Mungkin gak kasar juga, JUST KIDDING (kayanya sering deh kita denger kata itu), tapi kepikir gak bahwa lewat JUST KIDDING kita, beberapa orang di sekitar kita MIGHT GET HURT dan welcome to the judgment day. People silently judge you by your word. Thats why jadilah teladan dalam perkataan. Its oke becanda, Its oke say everything, but knowing the right time and the right place is really important. Let me apologize to each one of you if there was any my KIDDING word somehow hurting you personally. i repent today, and promise to do better in the future. i better watch my mouth next time. Silent is gold sometimes is right, but not always right. :)

2. TINGKAH LAKU
Pada dasarnya, tingkah laku seseorang itu adalah respon dari apa yang terjadi di sekitar kita. Dan tingkah laku itu terbentuk dan terus berkembang tergantung di komunitas mana dia berada. People silently judge our ACT. Kalau dalam perkataan, mungkin hanya orang yang kita kenal yang bisa SILENTLY JUDGE us, tapi kalo bicara soal tingkah laku ... EVERY BODY CAN JUDGE US. And we cant stop them from judging us, we cant say IN JESUS NAME GO WAY. They're will always be there. Thats why if you're a leader, you better watch your act. Dari hal yang sederhana sampai hal yang besar, dari hal yang gak penting sampai hal yang penting, kita perlu PUSH ourselves untuk jadi teladan bagi orang percaya. Pernah gak kita di restaurant tertentu dan kita liat ada orang yang makan kaya gak pernah dikasi makan setaun, kaya kelaparan banget. Mungkin kita ga bahas, but we silently judge them rite. Thats the same thing with all the people in the world. Well, we better watch our act everyone.

3. KASIH
Love is the basic and foundation of every aspect in our lives and i believe all of you are agree with me. Everybody in this world needs LOVE. They even singing about love, and if you checked the movies, the sinetron and everything in the production house .. if you wanna get a BIG costumer, sell LOVE. Tell them about love, they will like it. because they need love. Love is giving *always* So in this area, we need to be an example HOW TO LOVE not just by words but by GIVING. Because love is always giving. Banyak orang di dunia ini hanya MENGAMBIL, MENERIMA, just TAKING. why? Because they simply dont have anything to be given. THE NEED is love. We need to be an example how to give our time, how to give our full attention when people share something to us, how to give our full care, how to give our full life when serving each other. GIVE, GIVE, GIVE. This is our identity; to GIVE. And people silently judge us when we give a little. Mind my words again: Banyak orang gak tau bagaimana memberi yang terbaik untuk orang yang sudah memberi yang terbaik.

4. KESETIAAN
Kitab Mikha berkata seperti ini: Banyak orang benar (baik), tapi orang yang setia siapakah yang menemukannya? Banyak sekali gambaran ketidaksetiaan di televisi apalagi infotaintment *yeah well what do you expect la* the world spreading the DISLOYAL viruses we need to SPRAY and KILL the virus by becoming an example dalam kesetiaan kita. Kesetiaan gak hanya berbicara mengenai pernikahan dan pacaran, tapi juga dalam keseharian kita. You know all the examples about this im sure. Once you read this "word' i believe its like "ya ya ya i know" Okay then, mari jadi teladan dalam hal kesetiaan. Setia berdoa, setia melayani, tepat janji (termasuk BE ON TIME!) *AHA* you're not expecting me saying this ON TIME thing rite? but too bad it is. *lol* Remember, people silently judge us.

5. KESUCIAN
Wow, this is the last one. i love the word "PURE". Dunia memperkenalkan nilai-nilai korupsi, penyelewengan, dan politik-politik juga strategi-strategi. Pemain bola pasti tau soal strategi. But let me say this: strategi itu hanya untuk perang, hanya untuk bola, hanya untuk berjualan, hanya untuk menang dan BUKAN untuk hubungan. kemurnian, kesucian dalam hubungan "TANPA MOTIVASI menguntungkan diri sendiri" rasanya udah jarang kita temui hari-hari ini. i wanna be pure, i wanna be around people who really connect with me bukan karena saya menguntungkan mereka, (kalo udah menguntungkan berarti dicuekin dong) tapi karena they want to connect with me, even saya gagal, even saya pernah salah, et cetera. People, the world actually longs for the PURE person. GIRLS, you know all the examples. Mind my examples again: how many times awalnya koko dede (AHA!!) dan akhirnya si koko ternyata suka dan si DEDE kecewa karena mengetahui ternyata selama ini si KOKO ada hati. Gak ada seorang pun yang beli AQUA, tapi di botolnya ada tulisan 99% murni, 1% racun and you still buy it, i tell you, you're not just LOW, you're CRAZY. Again, people silently judge you. Come on lets be an example in the purity. Bukan karena kita ada maunya, atau bahkan supaya menguntungkan kita pribadi. Be pure!

Those are five daily things that we DEAL almost everyday and every minute i guess. We deal with our own mouth, mind, and heart. Be an example bukan berarti kita memalsukan kata-kata kita, memalsukan tingkah laku kita setiap saat (JAIM) *cape deh*, memalsukan kasih kita, kesetiaan kita, dan kesucian kita. Ini bukan soal menjadi orang lain .. but those 5 points buat saya sederhana menantang saya untuk jadi orang yang lebih baik. Right before christmas, Right before 2010 .. i wanna be a better person. And i wanna be an EXAMPLE for the generation to come. I SET my life, my day, my everything to be a MODEL for this generation. Yes, kata TELADAN or EXAMPLE itu berarti: MODEL atau FIGURE. If it means that i have to pay the cost, let it be. Because "CHILDREN SEE, CHILDREN DO" and Your word would not as powerful as your example.

be an EXAMPLE for me is like the MOST effective way to teach someone, to bring someone to Jesus, to equip someone. I hope i would say less, and act more and i hope people could IMITATE me .. we cant say "Contoh yang baik dari saya, yang gak baik jangan dicontoh" NO WE CANNOT. Because again, CHILDREN SEE CHILDREN DO. People around us need a MODEL, need a FIGURE, and they IMITATE the model, they IMITATE the FIGURE good or bad. They will imitate our words, our act, our love, our loyalty, our purity.

You are not created to be LOW. You are HIGH VALUED, such a MASTERPIECE made by GOD Himself. Thats why, be an EXAMPLE of the BELIEVERS.

Faith Works, Faith Matters

2011-05-09T02:41:00.001-07:00

Hello peeps, back again!! Cant hold my new THOUGHT now!! Still in the spirit of NEW YEAR, NEW YOU .. im gonna say Happy New Year to all of you. I pray that 2010 is going to be your "This is it" year in every area in your life. Hari ini masih hari kedua di tahun 2010, masih fresh banget dan masih MACET banget di kota tercinta BANDUNG BEAUTIFUL EUY!! People are still in the HOLIDAY ADRENALINE and the MOOD are so HIGH i can feel it, because im in those kind of MODE. *chuckling*

So, malam tadi saya punya agenda mendadak untuk "hangout" sama dua orang cewe luar biasa di hidup saya. Yang satu itu sahabat sejak di kuliah dari tahun 1998 "Dewi Maulina" (Wanita mandiri, GAJI tinggi, a Fashion buyer, a REAL GIVER, kind spirit, beautiful. Her family, Her life, Her struggle, HEr works has mold her into a real special humanbeing and amazing. (can you imagine, we've been together for almost 12 years) dan yang satunya anak rohani saya "Cynthia Rudiyanto" (amazing girl with so much passion, strength, and creativity. Sweet, Fast, a GREAT helper, available spirit, a spiritual mother, CARING, an organizer, OFTEN late *lol* but SPECIAL. Her maturity, Her style are down to earth. Yes, she's GORGEOUS! (Thank God for them). Pertemuan ini sudah beberapa bulan selalu gak jadi .. So tonite i claimed for OUR NITE!!

Normally, we talked about EVERYTHING; the food, the place, the fashion, the people, us, him, her, parents, dreams, future, yesterday, tears, joy.. EVERYTHING. The best part is we discussed thing, we solved things, and we talked about GOD A LOT! The steak is good, but our conversation is BETTER!! Malam tadi, khusus membicarakan mengenai "THE FUTURE" (new decision, new life, challenge, fear, blessing, etc) dan saya ambil kesimpulan semua pembahasan kita adalah soal IMAN or FAITH.

Iman adalah dasar dari segala sesuatu yang kita harapkan dan bukti dari segala sesuatu yang tidak kita lihat. Ibrani 11:1

Iman adalah:
1. DASAR dari segala sesuatu yang kita harapkan
2. BUKTI dari segala sesuatu yang tidak (belum) kita lihat

This is so simple, and this January theme is so all about your FAITH. Apa resolusimu (mimpi, harapan, dan goals) untuk 2010? I tell you, Imanmu hari ini akan menentukan hasil yang kau harapkan mungkin ditengah tahun, atau di akhir tahun. So pengharapan tanpa iman itu seperti mimpi di siang bolong, seperti mobil bagus tanpa mesin, seperti patung cantik tanpa nyawa. Tanpa iman, harapan mu hanya akan tetap jadi harapan. Karena kau gak punya alasan atau DASAR untuk percaya. Iman adalah DASAR.

Iman adalah BUKTI dari segala sesuatu (SEGALA SESUATU) yang tidak kita lihat (yang belum kita lihat). Sesuatu yang kita harapkan mungkin belum terlihat atau masih jauh atau mungkin MUSTAHIL untuk diraih, tapi IMAN merupakan BUKTI bahwa sesuatu yang tidak kita lihat adalah NYATA dan AKAN TERJADI. Iman bahkan MEMBUAT SEMUA TERJADI, bahkan hal yang musthil. IMAN menggerakkan Tuhan untuk membuat semua yang mustahil dalam hidupmu menjadi NYATA.

IMAN membuat orang biasa menjadi tidak biasa, memutuskan hal yang tidak biasa, dan meraih hal yang tidak biasa. IMAN membuat orang berani mengambil tindakan besar, dan IMAN tidak pernah membuat orang yang memiliki IMAN gagal. FAITH ALWAYS WORKS! and FAITH MATTERS! IF you read the bible, you'll find that MIRACLES always happened where there is FAITH.

ABRAHAM - diberkati Tuhan luar biasa, dan sampai hari ini orang masih terus berdoa meng-claim BERKAT ABRAHAM turun atas hidupnya tapi gak semua orang mau hidup seperti Abraham. We want the blessing, but we dont want the process. Dunia yang instant membentuk generasi jadi pribadi yang kacangan dan pengen yang gampang, gak suka dengan tantangan apalagi konflik.

Boys/ man, listen: You gotta be BOLD, jadi berani dan cepat mengambil keputusan, sukai tantangan dan tantang semua "tantangan" di hidupmu, stop making a cheap excuse to excuse your fear, your selfish, and your comfort zone. come on, you're created to be a HEAD, so be the HEAD. You gotta have faith in every aspect in your life, It means taking a radically step to DEPEND on GOD 100%, dont let yourself be the slave for your own flesh and lust. Come on, you're a man and you gotta have FAITH. You gotta take risk, you have to fight, and you will win. Your faith is your weapon to win the battle of life, to live the unfair life, and to stay strong and be a real man.

And girls/ women: Jangan cengeng, Jangan manja, you also gotta have faith. You're created to be a helper (penolong yang sepadan untuk menolong your soulmate someday), if you dont have faith, you'll crash down your man. Someday you have your own child, if you dont have faith, your children also will grow as a weak person, juga cengeng dan manja. You gotta have faith. Faith makes you beautiful. Women are beautiful because they're confident and in her heart, she believe that God is REAL. It makes you calm, humble, and yet it makes you strong to face everything in the world. Your tears is your jewelery, but the faith is what makes you glow.

FAITH is all we need. Dan untuk memperoleh iman, kau harus melangkah dan mengambil tindakan yang gak biasa (bukan tindakan bodoh karena nafsu kedagingan tapi tindakan yang melawan arus kedaginganmu). Untuk naik level dalam iman, mari terus melangkah dan berani percaya kepada Tuhan, berani mengandalkan Tuhan dalam setiap situasi. Tahun ini jangan hemat imanmu, karena Tuhan juga sudah gak mau menghemat berkatnya untuk kita semua. Tahun ini, you gonna break out to the left and to the right, but you gotta move to the left and to the right first. FAITH is all we need.

One last verse for tonite:
Terkutuklah orang yang mengandalkan manusia, yang mengandalkan kekuatannya sendiri, dan yang hatinya menjauh dari pada TUHAN! Ia akan seperti semak bulus di padang belantara, ia tidak akan mengalami datangnya keadaan baik; ia akan tinggal di tanah angus di padang gurun, di negeri padang asin yang tidak berpenduduk. Diberkatilah orang yang mengandalkan TUHAN, yang menaruh harapannya pada TUHAN! Ia akan seperti pohon yang ditanam di tepi air, yang merambatkan akar-akarnya ke tepi batang air, dan yang tidak mengalami datangnya panas terik, yang daunnya tetap hijau, yang tidak kuatir dalam tahun kering,

Drawing Near

2011-05-09T02:40:00.000-07:00

Hello world! I'm making an improvement today, that I write my notes while away from Bandung. Yes rite, I'm in Bogor rite now the land of my hubby and his family. As happy as I write this, please be happy reading the notes and of course BE CHANGED! Enjoy ..
Sejak kemarin rasanya ada satu kalimat yang terngiang sampai sekarang "Tuhan tidak punya anak kesayangan" Well, at least Tuhan tidak pernah merencakan si A atau si B untuk jadi anak kesayanganNya.

Let's take a deeper look at Jesus's lives on earth. Yesus punya 12 murid, dan dari 12 murid itu, menonjollah 3 orang yang terdekat dengan Yesus. Lalu, dari 3 orang itu, tinggallah Yohanes yang konon paling dekat dengan Yesus dan murid kesayangan Yesus.

I do believe that God never meant that! Yesus gak merencanakan sejak awal untuk mengangkat Yohanes menjadi murid kesayangannya. Lalu apa yang terjadi?

Let's start from the 3 close person to Jesus; Yohanes, Petrus, Yakobus. Perhatikan bahwa ketiga murid ini selalu berada di dekat Yesus kemanapun Yesus pergi. Dan perhatikan Yohanes pada waktu jamuan makan malam atau yang kita kenal dengan "The Last Supper". Lihat bahwa Yohanes duduk disebelah Yesus dan meletakkan kepalanya di dada Yesus. Tidak ada seorangpun yang melakukan itu padahal semua murid pada waktu itu punya akses yang sama untuk datang kepada Yesus.

"Mendekatlah kepadaKu maka AKU akan mendekat kepadamu"

"Draw near to ME, and I will draw near to you"

I don't know why but right now I just can feel His heart, and I just want to flow with His heart. Tuhan berkata "Mendekatlah", somehow I just got some points from this verse.

"Mendekatlah" ...
Ini sebuah seruan Tuhan dan kerinduan Dia yang dalam untuk dekat dengan anak-anakNya. Ini bukan seperti perintah Raja agung, tapi ini lebih kepada kerinduan seorang Bapa terhadap anaknya, kegalauan seorang Bapa karena sangat ingin dekat dengan anakNya. Itu sebabnya Tuhan berkata "Mendekatlah kepadaKu, maka Aku akan mendekat kepadamu"

Mungkin kau bertanya-tanya; ya ampun, sombong banget sih harus dideketin dulu baru mendekat? Tapi saya percaya Dia sudah mendekat, now its time for us DRAWING NEAR. I can say like this because I have had those experienced.

Satu kali entah kenapa salah satu anak rohani saya menjauh dari saya. *sedih banget deh hiks*

Well, I can feel it right away when someone I love is OUT FROM MY SPIRITUAL RADAR. Hey, don't despise me I'm a very sensitive about this, so whether someone told me or not, I will know. *winks*

Okay, so I start to sms him/her, I start to think of him/her, and I ussualy asked him/her out for a lunch/coffee/snack. So, well here I am trying to drawing near to him/her. And He/she suddenly are too busy, or got some job or any possible excuse to not meet me. Lalu setelah bertepuk sebelah tangan, saya mulai berpikir "well, ya udalah ntar aja kalo dia lagi ga sibuk, atau kalau dia pas mau ketemu" Because who am I pushing him/her to meet me. *thats what I thought*

Cerita diatas itu, saya gambarkan seperti lagi main bola; (anak rohani) ini menjauh (dia lempar bola ke saya). So, dia menjauh and the ball is in me right now so I have to do something (I kick the ball back to him/her by: sms him/her, asked him/her out etc) .. *understand the picture, guys?* .. Dia gak bales sms, atau too busy or etc, dan sekarang bola nya ada lagi pada dia.

Then I sit down, and wondering "what have I done wrong?" "Did I make a mistake that hurt him/her" and I don't get the answer and I just can say "mendekatlah padaku anakku" .. Karena di point ini, untuk saya mendekat lagi .. Ada ketakutan, ada kekhawatiran, ada keraguan. So I think I would just wait and see. The time he/she mulai menunjukkan sinyal bahwa dia mendekat, then I will take a hundred step to make myself closer to him/her again.

Wow, I hope that kind of example and picture would really gets you understand about the verse I shared in the beginning.

See, many times kita cemburu dengan orang yang 'urapannya lebih hebat' atau yang 'pelayanan nya lebih dahsyat'. Mungkin jg kita cemburu dengan orang-orang yang 'terlalu dekat' dengan bapa rohani kita, atau kayanya 'orang ini kesannya menjilat' dan kayanya orang ini 'punya akses' lebih cepat dan lebih besar.

Let me tell you .. Semua orang punya akses yang sama untuk dekat dengan Tuhan, semua orang punya kesempatan yang sama untuk diurapi dan dipercaya oleh Tuhan. Sayangnya, hanya Petrus, Yohanes, Yakobus MENDEKAT kepada Yesus waktu itu. They daily drawing near to Jesus; mereka put interest terhadap apa yang Yesus lakukan. Mereka gak hanya pasif menunggu perintah dari Yesus, namun mereka melibatkan diri di setiap aktifitas Yesus waktu itu.

Dan tahukah kau, bahwa semua orang pun punya akses untuk duduk di sebelah Yesus pada waktu perjamuan malam, semua orang bahkan di 33 tahun Yesus hidup punya kesempatan yang sama untuk meletakkan kepala mereka di dada Yesus. Tapi sayangnya, hanya Yohanes yang melakukannya, hanya Yohanes yang ingin dengar detak jantungnya Yesus waktu itu.

Wow, suddenly my heart is beating and my hands are cold (I'm writing notes in my blackberry now and I just can feel His heart, His longing to just be close to you). Its His desire to be close to each one of us, its His joy to bless each one of you, to anoint you with His anointing and to bring you into the deep relationship with Him.

I think its time to us to draw near to Him. (Just the way I want my children to draw near to me, I believe God is wanting so much more)

DRAWING NEAR is: taking a step of faith to relate with Him.
DRAWING NEAR is: put interest in what He is doing today
DRAWING NEAR is: go where ever He go.

I believe today God is calling us again to draw near to Him. The ball is at our hand now, what we gonna do? Throw the ball back, draw near to Him. He is waiting....

Lebih dari pada semua pekerjaan dan pelayananmu, Tuhan lebih interest untuk membangun hubungan denganmu. That's why panggilan tertinggi kita adalah untuk bersekutu dengan Tuhan bukan melayani. Bukan berarti kita tidak perlu melayani, namun panggilan tertinggi setiap kita adalah untuk bersekutu dengan Dia.

For me as a spiritual mom, I know that all of my children are GREAT in their ministry. But one thing I desire is to be close with each one of them. Yes, I get upset when they're sin, I get mad when they serve un-proffesionaly. But my sadness is FAR greater than my anger if I don't get a chance to have a deep and close relationship with them. You have to know, if I'm angry you don't have to be scared of me, because its just a while and It just hit my head. But if I'm sad, you need to be worried, because it hits my heart.

If God is angry with me, I would take a step to Him and say sorry, ask Him for forgiveness dan Dia Tuhan yang adil, Dia mengampuni dan Dia memperbaharui, In fact I should be happy, karena Tuhan menghajar orang yang dianggap anak.

But if God is sad because of me, I know something bothering His heart: and I wanna know what is that, because all my life is to please Him, to make Him smile. Its enough His suffering on the cross, its enough His way of saving me the jerk one to be His minister, to be trusted so many things in life and ministry. Now its time for me to make Him smile.

And I personally ask you world to make Him smile, to please Him. And it all begin with DRAWING NEAR to HIM, and He will draw near to you.

I pray that your heart would be so moved as I write this notes, and I pray as you read this notes you heart will draw near to God and to your love one. Cheers!

I want to be humble

2011-05-09T02:38:00.000-07:00

Hello world! Today is a very tiring day .. my body is completely tired, yet my spirit is so ALIVE. Its been a week, a month, a year maybe im thinking about this one: HUMBLE. Berawal dari pemikiran, perenungan, analisa, sampai akhirnya menjadi sebuah kerinduan dan keinginan bahkan KEBUTUHAN. The crying out has started since last year, and entering this year this crying out becomes my DEPRESSION NEEDS. Last nite, and tonite i depressingly crying out:I WANT TO BE HUMBLE.

I dont know about you, tapi menjadi HUMBLE atau RENDAH HATI itu sama sekali bukan natural saya. I dont know about you, but humbleness is what i really need the most for this year. Kalau Salomo di jamannya meminta hikmat dan kebijaksanaan, Essly di jamannya meminta kerendahan hati. *DEPRESSINGLY* Sebuah kerinduan sampai membuat depresi dan stress sendiri. Its depressing because each time i ask for it, i have to fight my nature, my own flesh. Its depressing because God didnt gave me the humbleness, He gave me an experience and a journey that is not easy for me to be humble. so I assume, humbleness is a PRODUCT. Its not a gift wrapped by a nice wrapping and ribbon on top of it. Dan ternyata Firman Tuhan pun berkata bahwa kerendahan hati adalah salah satu BUAH dari ROH KUDUS. CONFIRMED!

Everytime i want to be humble, i never be humble.
Everytime i want to be humble, it always turned out to be the opposite.
but i need to be humble anyway, and I WANT TO, I HAVE TO.
- esslythe

HUMBLENESS

Humility is perfect quietness of heart. It is for me to have no trouble; never to be fretted or vexed or irritated or sore or disappointed. It is to expect nothing, to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me and when I am blamed or despised. It is to have a blessed home in the Lord where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace as in a deep sea of calmness when all around is trouble. It is the fruit of the Lord Jesus Christ’s redemptive work on Calvary’s cross, manifested in those of His own who are definitely subject to the Holy Spirit.
Andrew Murray

Saya rasa quote di atas menjelaskan SEMUANYA mengenai kerendahan hati. Let me translated into my translation. This is really good. And this is a bit intimidating, since im not humble. NOT YET not yet ..

Kerendahan hati adalah sebuah ketenangan di dalam hati. Tidak adanya gangguan di dalam hati; gak menjadi kesel, atau jengkel, atau terhina, atau terganggu, atau kecewa. Kerendaha hati gak mengharapkan balasan, berpikir bahwa segala sesuatu bukan karena saya, dan tidak berprasangka buruk terhadap apa yang orang lakukan terhadap saya. Kerendahan hati tetap tenang walaupun tidak ada seorangpun yang memberikan pujian kepada saya dan ketika saya disalahkan atau dikesampingkan. Kerendahan hati adalah sebuah rumah kemana saya dapat masuk dan menutup pintunya rapat dan bersujud di kaki Bapa di dalam sebuah kedamaian dan kedalaman seperti tenggelam di dalam lautan ketenangan ketika sekeliling kita adalah masalah. kerendahan hati adalah buah dari pekerjaan Yesus di kayu salib, yang dimanifestasikan melalui dirinya sendiri dalam rupa Roh Kudus. Andrew Murray.

So, i think im gonna leave you to PAUSE after you read this notes. a SHORT one right, but i guess its the DEEP one! Lets do the SELAH tonite or whenever you read this notes. Let this be our most desire, more than anything else in this world. And i really want to know what do you think about this HUMBLENESS. Please leave a comment and help me to be humble. I WANT TO BE HUMBLE.

to be continue ...

I want to be humble #2

2011-05-09T02:34:00.000-07:00

I believe that yesterday notes was totally different. 11 people LIKES the notes, and 23 people ADDING a wonderful revleation to its original context. And THE COMMENTS is changing my life. Its like the puzzles puzzling the whole picture and it becomes clearer. So enjoy the part #2 of "I want to be HUMBLE"

Humility or Humbleness is not an outside reaction, it is a heart reaction. One common thing you were all ADD in the comments yesterday was one word "INSIDE OF ME" Seringkali, saya coba jadi rendah hati dengan bersikap diam, lembut, dan gentle tapi sebenarnya yang di dalam bergejolak dan berkata "gak setuju, geram, kesal, tersinggung, bahkan marah" It strucked me with a BIG "HEY" "what have i done? i didnt do anything wrong on the outside, but i SINNED on the inside. So the humility is the HEART REACTION.

Again we look at according Andrew Murray that humility or humbleness is the PERFECT QUIETNESS of heart. Elsa echa said we need to PRAY, and Pii Chanz were talking about SURRENDER FULLY to the Lord. James Enoch meneguhkan juga bahwa kerendahan hati bukan sikap yang harus dipaksakan, thats why i sum 'em all that: Humility or humbleness is not an outside reaction, it is a heart reaction. Why is so hard? Jerry D'likethis seringkali mengalami ada rasa "sakit hati" yang harusnya gak ada (well, me too Jer). Point Ronny Setiawan bisa jadi acuan buat kita juga, disaat kita memilih untuk "diam" dan "gak bereaksi" seringkali HATI KITA GAK DIAM (good point for me), Vincent Rumahloine thought that everybody thinks that they DESERVE at least a praise or a nobel for what they did.

HOW TO BE HUMBLE?
Well, i dont want to be so THEORETICAL about humility, because humility is a JOURNEY. Thats why Marina Latupeirisa said "Enjoy the ride, everyone" So this is the best from this notes. We all can learn together and WE MAKE A PUZZLE a bit bigger and deeper. The puzzle of humility that will never DONE as long as we live, but at least we tried to figure out how to be a humble person.

1. BE TEACHABLE
You know i was strucked when Leslie Lai said "Watch out! Teacher is everywhere" Adi Warman (papa Marvel) also said "kerendahan hati kita akan selalu diuji selama kita masih bersosialisasi dengan orang lain". It means: EVERYONE is our teacher.(Yes everyone! im not making a mistake here). Orang yang mudah diajar dan yang hatinya punya "willingness to learn" gak akan tersinggung kalau ada orang yang lebih muda atau mungkin yang gak kita kenal memberikan masukan atau bahkan teguran atau bahkan pengajaran. The heart would not say "who are you telling me this stuff" (just like Tiatira D'worshipper said) then she continue "who are you to judge? or maybe "who are you to treat me that way?" The teachable person will REMAIN teachable and the heart will WILLINGLY to learn just like Victor Hamdani said "... untuk mau belajar lebih lagi..." Ini point yang paling penting dan modal awal yang paling berharga. Lebih berharga dari semua TALENT, KEMAMPUAN, bahkan PENGETAHUAN ROHANI kita.

EVERYONE is our teacher. a random people in the street is our teacher, mang mang beca, mang baso, dan semua mang mang adalah guru kita. anak kecil adalah guru kita. Orang tua gak usah dibilang adalah
guru kita. REMAIN TEACHABLE is the key to be humble.

2. LESS ME, MORE GOD and PEOPLE
I love the way God always told me this sentence "Essly, its not about you" We need to understand that this universe is not about us. When Jesus lived on earth, its not about Jesus, its about THE FATHER and OTHER PEOPLE (if you notice that). Adisti Chandra creates this 2nd point: TO BE LESS IN ME. Glorya "raiia" Putri bilang bahwa waktu kita humble, kita gak akan mengecilkan orang lain. Nike Yosephine also added some good things "melepaskan hak sebagai manusia yang punya hak .. melepaskan hak untuk dihargai" Dan rasanya apa yang Budiman Rahardjos alami kita alami semuanya; saat dimana kita mengharapkan pujian dari orang (everybody has the same problem i think *chuckling*) I just want to encourage you all just like Shandi Wijaya said "Mendengar, Melihat, Merespon kepada orang lain bukan kepada ego sendiri. Betul banget, Teddy Pauzie Suryadi menambahkan bahwa hanya dengan gak berenti
melayani Tuhan dan melayani jiwa-jiwa kita akan terus belajar untuk LESS ME, MORE GOD, and PEOPLE.

i will wrap up this notes with a verse Marina Latupeirisa shared in John 3:30:

"He must increase, but i must decrease"
"Ia harus makin besar, tetapi aku harus makin kecil"

Last but not least, David Samuel said "We have to choose, mau tetap tinggal di alam manusia lama kita atau BERJALAN PINDAH ke alam yang baru dengan nature yang baru (backsound: i just want You by Planet Shaker *smile*). How to respond everything outside us is what is all about, said Danieloz Guntoritozh. Ps Frans Januaralso said about HAVING A PURE HEART is the KEY. Pure heart will say "its all about You God, not me" i think this sum up the whole notes. Adam Maba Medalia Ginting (my brotha in GLORIFY THE LORD ENSEMBLE) said "supaya kita
semakin serupa dengan DIA, we need to be humble.

Humble..
Jalan supaya kita CONNECT dengan Bapa di Surga. -Carolina Budi Suwandi

Wow, what a note hey ... WE HAVE A NOTE EVERYONE! If we continue this topic, with another opinion and another angle, i believe we can make a BOOK. So what do you think? I pray this this note will STIMULATE your spirit like it stimulated Debbie Oktriana. GOOD POWERFUL SUNDAY EVERYONE! Thank God for all of you, Praising God Worshiping God for the existence of you .. LORD, make us HUMBLE just like You.

Faith, Fight, Focus

2011-05-09T02:33:00.001-07:00

Happy Sunday world. Well, I planned to present the part #3 I want to be Humble .. But I left the notes on the pc at home .. And I just finished preaching on the first service at Church and how the message Himself moved me .. I just want to share about a lil part of the sermon.

Setiap orang diciptakan dengan sebuah tujuan. Everything on earth actually created for a purpose.

I'm having my blackberry right now , dan bayangkan jika saya tidak tahu fungsi dan tujuan penciptaan blackberry; maka blackberry saya akan hidup di dalam ketidakmaksimalan. Blackberry saya bahkan mungkin akan berakhir mati/dijual dengan harga handphone biasa. Karena saya tahu benar tujuan dan fungsi blackberry ini, that's why blackberry sy ada blackberry yg hidupnya maksimal dan berdampak bagi dunia ini. How can it not? I write a note in blackberry, I posted it through blackberry, I'm a very touchable and reachable person since I got blackberry, and mostly the world is in my hand since I got blackberry in my hand.

If I don't know the exact function of my blackberry, it means that I'm ABUSING my blackberry. Terjadi pelecehan pada blackberry.

Pelecehan - ABUSE - "AB (tidak normal/ tidak semestinya) - USE (pemakaian/penggunaan)

Hal sama terjadi ketika kita tidak tahu tujuan kita diciptkan. I will end up abusing my life. Jika kita tida tahu apa fungsi dan tujuan seoang "istri/suami/pasangan" then we'll end abusing those. Jika kita tidak tahu fungsi/tujuan pernikahan, then we'll end up abusing our marriage. How CRUEL is that?

"Dimana tidak ada wahyu, maka rakyat menjadi liar"
"Where there is no vision, the people will perish"
"If I don't have vision, I will perish"

You have to know where you are going.You gotta have VISION, kau harus punya tujuan di hidupmu. Supaya kau sampai kepada DESTINY hidupmu yang sesungguhnya (tujuan akhir)

I'm gonna share what we have to do in order PURSUING YOUR DESTINY: (mengejar/mencapai tujuan akhir dalam hidupmu)
1. FAITH
FAITH makes you move, FAITH even moves mountain and open a way for you to step up. To reach your destiny you need FAITH. Knowing God is the key to HAVING FAITH.

2. FIGHT
Faith is the beginning, but in your journey (didalam perjalananmu meraih tujuan akhir, you need to FIGHT. Gangguan akan menghadang, Cobaan bahkan godaan akan berusaha membuat kita berhenti. That's why you need to FIGHT.

3. FOCUS
Focus is powerful. Semua pemain basket tahu bahwa untuk bisa mendapatkan 3 points, dia harus memfokuskan matanya, tanganny, dan bolanya ke arah keranjang disebrang sana .. Dan SHOOTTT! You got the point.

FAITH, FIGHT, FOCUS is the ingridient of your maximum life. Until you reach your goal, your destiny.

Here, let me tell you what is our DESTINY since the creation;
1. Genesis 2
"... Untuk berkuasa
2. 1 petrus
,,,Untuk menceritakan tentang kebesaran2 Tuhan
3, Kolose 2
... Kita diciptakan oleh Dia dan untuk Dia.

Guys, where ever you are now, what position you are now, you have an amazing 3 given destiny from your creator. He thinked of you when He created you and He put inside of you a godly destiny.

- Dimanapun engkau berada, jadilah berkuasa (dalam arti kata: menjadi kepala, dan menjadi ahli di bidangmu)
- Dimanapun engkau berada, tujuan engkau adalah untuk memberitakan kebesaran2 Tuhan dalam hidupmu.
- Dimanapun engkau berada, dan apapun posisimu ketahuilah bahwa engkau berada, pastikan engkau meyadari bahwa engkua diciptakan oleh Dia dan untuk Dia

FAITH, FIGHT, and FOCUS is our tribute (penghormatan) bagi generasi sebelumnya sehingga kita bisa ada dan untuk menjadi a living sample untuk generasi yang akan datang, sehingga generasi berikut melihat dan menyembah Tuhan yang sama.

Last but not least: every generation should worship the same God we worship today. So guys, we need to have FAITH, we need to FIGHT, and we need to FOCUS.

Cheers,

Amazing Brain

2011-05-09T02:32:00.000-07:00

Well, its been a while .. its not that i dont have any thought .. its just another great excuse for me not to stick in front of my monitor and get in the flow. So allow me to say HAPPY WORKING/SCHOOLING MONDAY everyone; its been a while, hope you all doing okay while i'd been surviving any TIMES to make it my own these day. lol

Computer is the most amazing tool for me. Any kind of "magic" thing this technology ever done always made me said "wow, technology!!" (dengan penekanan di mata terbelalak dan mulut ternganga. Yes, exactly perfectly like that) Imagine how it works and how it helps us to finish our job done or even just to play games and everything. its just "wow" i do love Bill Gates, now i adoring "Steve Jobs" but yet, MY JESUS is more than everyone else on earth. For Jesus, i dont just love Him, or just adore Him, IM ALL ABOUT HIM.

Do you know that the computer is equal with human brain. I mean, this brain inside of us is working like a computer CPU (Central Processing Unit) Otak ini memang bekerja bagaikan sebuah CPU (Central Processing Unit). Let see, the cpu receiving inputs, processing inputs, saving inputs/order, and providing information output. How amazing is that? And do you know, that our brain works the same. I do believe that the inspiration of computer came from human brain, yes our brain, your only 1.5 kg (lebih ringan dari komputer, yet lebih hebat dari komputer. (supposed to be!) Why is that? Because we are a living creature while computer is a death thing.

I believe kalian semua pengguna komputer, even a lot better than me. So pastinya gak asing dengan kata "FOLDER" right? Yeap, tiap folder berisi yang beda. Satu hari, i had to finish some of articles in a different folder. One for the magazine, One for the cell group material, and one for my "my thought folder". The three of 'em has different challenges, difficulties, and pushing me to think differently from different angle. So, what did i do? Saya tutup dulu folder yang "cell group material" hehehe dan get in the flow with the folder with the tag "my thought", i also close the "magazine" folder. It so easy, right. Everything has folder, semuanya tertata, well karena folder itu, so sistem berpikir saya pun jadi lebih mudah.

Now let me get into your personal brain. Your brain has a bigger capacity; dan harus punya folder-folder. Pernah gak mengalami atau melihat kejadian seperti ini: ada sebuah tantangan/ kesulitan di satu bagian hidup; katakanlah di "folder" keluarga. At the same time, kamu harus get involve di "folder" bekerja. At the same time "folder" berpacaran lagi stuck/berantem. Plus lagi, "folder" pelayanan dan anak rohani menuntut. wow, what a life you have hey? But tau gak, we got to CONTROL OUR BRAIN FOLDER. ohh, do you ever have a folder in your brain?

What it means?
Kalo kita punya folder di otak kita, semua hal masih bisa tetap berjalan beriringan. Because it has to. Waktu itu i just found out papa saya di vonis hidup hanya 6bulan lagi, dan besoknya tetep harus memimpin pujian. I DO HAVE A FEELING, IT DID HURT ME LIKE CRAZY, tapi semua harus berjalan beriringan. saat memimpin pujian, "folder" keluarga saya tutup dulu, selesai pimpin pujian i opened that folder back. One day, i had a big fight with my boyfriend (now my hubby), at the same time saya harus pa sama anak-anak rohani saya yang luar biasa. ITS NOT EASY, but that time, saya tutup "folder" berantem, dan buka "folder" pelayanan. Setelah selesai pa, i remembered i walked long way to my home opening my "relationship" folder. See, its not easy i knew. its hard at the beginning, but you have to begin anyway. YOU'VE GOT TO CONTROL YOUR BRAIN.

We've got to control input apa yang masuk ke otak kita, karena kalau kita mengijinkan input negatif masuk ke otak kita, semakin lama dia ada di otak kita, maka kita akan punya sistem yang negatif. Sorot mata kita akan negatif, no wonder... perasaan kita akan negatif, dan gak heran kalau tingkah laku kita juga negatif.

1. We've got to scan every input before the inputs comes into our brain.
Psa 139:23 Selidikilah aku, ya Allah, dan kenallah hatiku, ujilah aku dan kenallah pikiran-pikiranku;
Daud tau bahwa pikirannya gak selalu benar, thats why he pray like that. And it should be our prayer too every day, every morning. To be filled with His thought every morning is important. Do the spiritual scanning, and match it with the word of God. Be aware of what you see and what you hear. It will save your day! trust me! Bukan berarti juga menjauh dari orang-orang la, but you've got to scan the inputs.

2. We've got to control our brain.
2Co 10:5 Kami mematahkan setiap siasat orang dan merubuhkan setiap kubu yang dibangun oleh keangkuhan manusia untuk menentang pengenalan akan Allah. Kami menawan segala pikiran dan menaklukkannya kepada Kristus.
Kita bisa mengontrol pikiran kita jika kita sudah menaklukannya kepada Kristus. Wow, its really important untuk selalu menaklukan pikiran kita kepada Kristus. Saya mengalami banyak kejadian dan asumsi negatif yang bertengger di pikiran saya, and it SUCKS. man, it sucks. Its ruined my whole day, so menaklukannya tiap hari very important. Banyak orang jadi stress sendiri, jadi gila sendiri karena pikirannya sendiri. Wew, dont be! come on!

3. Use your brain right.
You need to PRAY and to THINK. Think more than you ever did. Think right.
Php 4:8 Jadi akhirnya, saudara-saudara, semua yang benar, semua yang mulia, semua yang adil, semua yang suci, semua yang manis, semua yang sedap didengar, semua yang disebut kebajikan dan patut dipuji, pikirkanlah semuanya itu.
Col 3:2 Pikirkanlah perkara yang di atas, bukan yang di bumi.
Sometimes its hard to think right when we face the un-right thing according to us. But, we better think like Phil 4:8 said. Sometimes, yang jelek-jelek terlalu banyak kita pikirkan, yang manis-manis cuma lewat doang, thats why no wonder dalam hidup kita hanya dapat yang jelek-jelek aja, we live what we think of, we got what we think of. We have to do the SWITCHING mode, or restarting the brain, SOAK INTO THE WORD and THINK OF HIS WORD.

Isnt it amazing how our brain can works? Isnt it amazing how we actually can control our amazing brain? And isnt it amazing how we actually can think right better than a death computer? The truth is: your brain is amazing. Its not bad, its just need a MASTER to rule the brain. Lets just thank God for the amazing brain, and start to think right! Happy thinking day!

Dare to Ask, Dare to Believe, Dare to Wait

2011-05-09T02:28:00.000-07:00

Helo again beautiful people, It still FRESH in my mind and my heart about someone who prophecy over my life, our life actually (me and my husband) and it took me by surprise that when I read those prophecy again, my heart is JUMPING again and again.Heart beating fast *you know what I mean* and tears begin to flow *ah, tears again* how much I love my God passionately that I do passionately TRUST Him and always wanted to be this way and even more. So check out this prophecy from one of the crazy creative encouraging and changing this world, Ps Chuck Balsamo

(see the complete blog at www.chuckbalsamo.com/esslythe-from-indonesia-writes and DO SEE READ THE WHOLE BLOG, its amazing )
…thank you Esslythe! May God bless you and Brian as he already has… and EVEN SO MUCH MORE in the future for the way you stood with your pastor when it seemed like the whole world was sending him to hell. Every time I read one of your comments, my life is ENHANCED! God’s hand is ALL OVER your life… He is blessing you with the FAVOR of QUEEN ESTHER!
Throughout your entire life Esslythe, you are going to ASK YOUR KING FOR GIGANTIC FAVORS… and YOUR KING will grant you SPECIAL FAVOR over and over again! You will be known as the woman who DARED TO ASK and DARED TO BELIEVE… in a God without limits-in a God who can do ANYTHING! And God will be glorified in your life as the God who FAVORS his humble servant! This is a prophecy Esslythe… and may it happen, just as it is written this day!

I don’t even dare to translate it into Indonesian, because im afraid im going to loose the real deep meaning. There are some of the prophecy that I want to share with you guys who amazingly authentic crazy creative and love by God”

DARE TO ASK.

Mat 7:7 "Mintalah, maka akan diberikan kepadamu; carilah, maka kamu akan mendapat; ketoklah, maka pintu akan dibukakan bagimu.
Mat 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:

Have you ever felt that you were like ASKING too much, FINDING too much, and KNOCKING way too hard. If you nod your head or just “ehmm.. well..” it means that you’re not knowing enough about your position in Christ. A children will never bored to ASK, they DARE to ASK, its like its never enough for them. I have a son “a super smart cute baby boy that ever born on earth” (he basically need Jesus at this stage, im not kidding man “lol”) and he always DARE TO ASK EVERYTHING to me , to us. I said “everything”. When he was FINDING his missing pingpong ball, he would search all over the house, crawling up and down, stacking up and down our bed just to reach the “un-important pingpong ball”, and when he knocked our room door means he wants to come in, he definitely KNOCKED with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength, and also TEARS until we open the door for him to come in. Hey there, you are His children, don’t stop ASKING, FINDING, and KNOCKING. Even more, DARE TO ASK …

DARE TO BELIEVE.

Rom 10:11 Karena Kitab Suci berkata: "Barangsiapa yang percaya kepada Dia, tidak akan dipermalukan."
Rom 10:11 For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed.

I guess the “ASKING” stage was quite easy, everybody can ASK a thing (even if you’re not in the stage of knowing your position as His children). But its actually the state where God puts us on the TEST. How to test our FAITH? Through the opposite things. Yes, you might be in a state of believing God, but are you DARE TO BELIEVE GOD? Because the word “DARE” is like CHALLENGING your circumstances, and its even challenges you to have FAITH. Because many times in my life, my faith doesn’t change my circumstances. Oh yeah, But my faith CHANGE me, it CHANGES ME by giving me the TENACITY to HANG IN THERE, FIGHT BACK, STEP FORWARD, or maybe just “SIT STILL and TRUST MY PILOT (Jesus)”. You need to believe, you need to STRECTH your faith, because “WHOSOEVER BELIEVETH on HIM, SHALL NOT BE ASHAMED” This is my heart; That I don’t want all of you to be ashamed of anything in life. Its my desire, to see you to reach YOUR BEST LIFE with Jesus. And I bet you wont be ashamed when YOU DARE TO BELIEVE

Next one, im gonna add some of the revelation which definitely will tremendously strength you as well as strengthen me.

DARE TO WAIT

Isa 40:31 tetapi orang-orang yang menanti-nantikan TUHAN mendapat kekuatan baru: mereka seumpama rajawali yang naik terbang dengan kekuatan sayapnya; mereka berlari dan tidak menjadi lesu, mereka berjalan dan tidak menjadi lelah.
Isa 40:31 But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Yes we have ASKED, and yes we BELIEVE Him .. but the next question is: UNTIL WHEN? Will you stay believe Him when your circumstances is the opposite of your dreams and His promises? Because He will answer your prayer (ask), and He will promise that you will not be ashamed (believe); He’s the one who RULES the TIME, and He knows the RIGHT TIME when to gives us what we asked for, what we believed in. That’s why the state of you being DARE TO WAIT is a very important state. Don’t just ASK, Don’t just BELIEVE, but ACTIVELY WAIT on HIM, on His promises. Dare to WAIT.

You must be AGREE with me that “waiting” is the most boring moment for us, we don’t like to wait too long. But see what the BIBLE SAID. People who WAIT UPON THE LORD, shall renew THEIR STRENGTH. More over, YOU WILL RUN, and NOT BE WEARY, YOU SHALL WALK, and NOT FAINT.

How many of you right now in the stage of RUNNING but WEARY “Tired, Burn out, almost give up”. How many of you right now in the stage of WALKING but FAINT “not focus, ready to give up, loosing the joy, and not excited about life” You may live, but you don’t have that “LIFE”. You’re weak, boring, flat, and days are just NOT FINE. I believe its time for you to DARE TO WAIT upon the LORD. Its time for you to renew your strength, by first knowing YOUR GOD is a LIVING GOD and then you’ll be ready to start from the beginning: TO ASK and TO BELIEVE again. Don’t be too hard on you, and GOD DOES NOT GIVE UP on you YET. NOT YET and NEVER. There are still LOTS OF THING to be achieve in your life, and there are still LOTS OF TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN to be reached. And so I say from my heart: DARE TO WAIT

Galatian 6:9 tells us a GREAT things, this is my interpretation; YOU CANNOT BE WEAK, or you’ll not gonna get what you really want, you’ll not gonna get what you have sow… DON’T BE WEAK, Keep doing what you need to do, and you’ll get the result, you’ll get the answer, you’ll get there “IF YOU’RE NOT WEAK” It’s a great things rite? HOW TO BE NOT WEAK?

DARE TO WAIT upon the LORD.

Wow, what quite a LONG NOTES. I hope you'll make it reading this and feels my heart. And if you have time, do let me know "at what stage are you now in life? in the stage of ASK, or BELIEVE, or WAIT, or none of them?" and see what God wants to tell you through this notes.
Cheers everyone ... BE HAPPY!

First Romance

2011-05-09T02:22:00.000-07:00

Hello world!
Its a dark cloudy day just now while im sitting with my hubby @begana resto. We just talked (husband n wife talk u dont want to hear definetely *lol), we basically talked about "us" how blessed we are, how amazing God, and how super cute our son. (dont get bored first please lol) we always talk and talk about everything yes EVERYTHING. We named this "quality time" (hubby just asked if im writing and i said yes) how romantic.

Suddenly i remembered i was saying this to a new couple "Dijaga keromantisannya sampe oma opa yah" (lol). Oo i dont know about you, call me naif, childish, or girly haha but i always wanted to feel this way. Im proudly pronounce that im 30, sexy, happy and loved! And i feel like i can move a mountain, i feel like i can do everything, i feel like nothings too hard in this world, nothings bad in this world. Inside of me is like BURSTING like crazy. Can you feel it? Can you feel it?

Now suddenly i got a glimpse of a bible verse in my head (nah, you'll know i'll get into the WORD sometimes right?) ..

Namun demikian Aku mencela engkau,
karena engkau telah meninggalkan kasihmu yang semula. Why2:4

Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love. Rev2:4

Back to the first love is very important. Meninggalkan kasih yang semula biasanya gak kerasa, tapi to get back to the first love is a MUST. In our marriage, we got bored sometimes, tired of working and building, we slipped into a flat life of our marriage. But all we got to do is bursting every effort to make it full of excitement justike the first time we found out we had fall in love each other. And it took EVERY EFFORT to finally comes back to our first love. (kabur dari kantor hanya demi nonton berdua, ninggalin max di omanya demi kita jalan2 berdua, batalin janji dgn anak rohani karena we desperately need each other, need to hold hand upsss*) Everything we do, just to get back to our first romance, gimana Deg2an nya, heart pumping nya, gregetnya, auww its backk! YES IT SHOULD BE BACK!

You know, now its GOD. And HE deserved every effort for us to finally get back to the first love. So hows your first love with God? Have u ever meet again with those feeling; when you feel you can do evrything just to haveHim, when u you said that you'll do everything for Him, and you will serve Him no matter what. Remember about the first tears on your face when you met Him face to face and how it change your whole life, how it heals your heart. And how about when you really missed His presence and you catch Him where ever you go. Go back there now! Go back there soon! Its your source, infact He is your source. Go back there for your own sake. First love bukan dipertahankan, first love dibangun setiap hari. Sesuatu yang dibangun setiap hari, pasti bertahan. Go back there!

Let me continue the verse:
Sebab itu ingatlah betapa dalamnya engkau telah jatuh! Bertobatlah dan lakukanlah lagi apa yang semula engkau lakukan. Jika tidak demikian, Aku akan datang kepadamu dan Aku akan mengambil kaki dianmu dari tempatnya, jikalau engkau tidak bertobat. Why2:5

Remember therefore from where you have fallen, and repent and do the first works; but if not, I am coming to you quickly and I will remove your lampstand out of its place, unless you repent. Rev2:5

To not having 'the first love' is SIN; in fact its the beginning of SIN and other SINS. Its the beginning dari adanya perselingkuhan dan perzinahan di keluarga, di pernikahan, dan di hubungan pertunangan. REMEMBER HOW FAR YOU HAVE FALL. And we should REPENT.

GO BACK THERE SOON! how?
"Lakukanlah lagi apa yang semula engkau lakukan"

God said jealousy (Yes, He is jealous of you) "Aku akan mengambil kaki dianmu dari tempatnya, jikalau engkau tidak bertobat" Wow, its so serious. This notes suddenly so serious just like those Words. Apa sih kaki dian? Kaki dian itu seperti lampu yang bikin kita jadi keliatan ketika kita ada di dalam gelap; it means kaki dian itu membuat kita dilihat orang, dihargai orang. Kaki dian itu gambaran kesuksesan kita (you name it). And again God said jealousy "Aku akan mengambil kaki dianmu dari tempatnya ..." (it might be your job, your hobby, your boy/girl friend, etc) Who is your God now? Your boyfriend? Your girlfriend? He will take him/her from you seriously. So please, go back there!

So, last thing (it should be the first thing i asked rite, but let me just ask you now:) HOW ARE YOU? HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY? Hows your love life with GOD? Where is your first love? GO BACK THERE, SERIOUSLY!

When you speak vs When you listen

2011-05-09T02:21:00.000-07:00

Hey again peeps. .. FAST40 "i like this" is truly changing me day by day. How about you? Well, its day 4 and im just like WINNING BIG. Cant imagine what would happen on day 40. I cant wait till that day. But let me share what i shared in our morning prayer this morning. Its amazing how GOD CAN SPEAK TO US and its also amazing how OUR SPIRIT CREATED TO RECEIVED SUCH REVELATION and BURSTING inside out all of sudden.

Isa 50:4 Tuhan ALLAH telah memberikan kepadaku lidah seorang murid, supaya dengan perkataan aku dapat memberi semangat baru kepada orang yang letih lesu. Setiap pagi Ia mempertajam pendengaranku untuk mendengar seperti seorang murid.

Isa 50:4 The Lord GOD hath given me the tongue of the learned, that I should know how to speak a word in season to him that is weary: he wakeneth morning by morning, he wakeneth mine ear to hear as the learned.

Tepatnya waktu subuh hari ini sekitar jam 4pagi, kebangun dan langsung TERINGAT ayat ini. I know exactly the address of the verse, and i was just like reading it loud to myself "not too loud because everybody was still sleeping", then i went to the morning prayer with THE OUTPOURING JOY AND EXCITEMENT! Karena saya percaya pagi ini Tuhan mau mempertajam pendengaran saya. and its WOW! Sepanjang jalan, sementara having a light chit chat with destra, henry, and will , i was connected to heaven and i feel the presence of God in that car sementara Israel mengiringi keberangkatan kami ke Balai Arauna. Saking kami excitednya, sampe pungkur, masih gelap dong dong. But it still EXCITED. I really felt that i cant hold my praise .. In my heart i was just saying "come on come on come on lets pray"

Sepanjang berdoa, I was LISTENING TO GOD more than listening to other's tongue (bahasa roh.red). I was praying softly, singing softly, because i didnt want to ruined HIS soft voice in me. Dan Roh Kudus menyingkapkan apa yang ada di ayat tersebut. Ada 2 indera yang Tuhan bahas di ayat tersebut, yaitu:

LIDAH
Yesaya dalam keadaan yang benar-benar sadar bahwa Tuhan memberikan dia lidah seorang murid, supaya DENGAN PERKATAAN DIA DAPAT MEMBERI SEMANGAT BARU kepada orang yang letih lesu. Alkitab pun membahas banyak mengenai lidah. Lidah kita tidak bertulang dalam artian: licin, luwes untuk bersilat, seringkali tak terkendali karena saking licinnya "rem blong", dan tanpa sadar sebenarnya mengungkapkan isi hati manusia). Ada satu fungsi lidah yang harus kita sadari betul bahwa lidah kita harus MEMBERI SEMANGAT BARU kepada orang yang letih lesu. Mari check sepanjang hari, atau selama 4hari ini kita berpuasa, apa yang lidah kita lakukan? Apakah memberi semangat baru kepada orang yang letih lesu, atau malah membuat orang menjadi letih lesu? Lidah yang sama kita gunakan untuk menghampiri Tuhan ternyata juga lidah yang sama yang kita gunakan untuk membuat orang malah menjadi letih lesu. Saya harus akui, lidah saya berbahaya. Its dangerous seringkali gak terkendali, i repent o God! Saya mau memiliki lidah seorang murid.

TELINGA
Seringkali ketika kita berdoa, kita hanya berbicara kepada Tuhan. Padahal berdoa adalah juga mendengarkan Tuhan. We must take time and give time to LISTEN to God. Beberapa ayat di kitab Wahyu berkata "Siapa bertelinga, hendaklah ia mendengarkan apa yang dikatakan Roh kepada jemaat-jemaat" Ada satu tingkatan yang lebih tinggi di dalam berdoa, yaitu MENDENGARKAN apa yang dikatakan Roh. When was the last time you listened in your prayer? Seringkali kita datang berbahasa roh, dan langsung berkata-kata: menghardik ini dan itu, memperkatakan ini dan itu, meng-claim ini dan itu (which is good). BUT, ada satu saat dimana kita harus diam dan mendengarkan apa yang dikatakan Roh. Dan apa yang kita dengar dari Roh, itulah yang disebut dengan PEWAHYUAN atau revelation. Dan FirmanNya berkata "SETIAP PAGI Ia mempertajam pendengaranku..." (This is why morning prayer is important, either private or corporate). Dan pewahyuan itulah yang akan membuat engkau hidup, berjalan, dan melayani dengan kuasa. Mari, miliki telinga seorang murid.

Ketika kita berkata-kata, kita sedang mengisi, mengimpartasikan, dan membangun sesuatu. Dan ketika kita mendengar, kita sedang diisi, diimpartasikan, dan dibangun oleh apa yang kita dengar.

FAST40 notes:
"Sesuatu yang diberi makan pasti menjadi kuat"
Ketika kita berpuasa, bagus banget karena kita tidak memberi makan daging kita seperti biasanya. Namun pastikan, jangan hanya tidak makan, tapi berikan porsi yang lebih besar untuk memberi makan rohmu dengan "mendengarkan apa yang dikatakan Roh". Karena ketika rohmu diberi makan melebihi engkau memberi makan dagingmu, maka ROHMU YANG AKAN KUAT.
Kita yang memilih mana yang harus jadi semakin kuat? Daging kita? atau Roh kita?

KEEP FAITHFUL
KEEP WINNING
36 days to go.
xoxo xoxo

The GOD i KNOW

2011-05-09T02:19:00.000-07:00

Its now 1.20am and im thinking about God; Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit .. The God who really catch my heart few years back, and im trying to remember all of the details about what i'd been experienced since.

HE IS MY HEALER
Most of my life, He heals my broken heart. Its the important thing in my life i guess, to be healed inside. Sampai hari ini, sy masih terus temukan bahwa Tuhan "menyembuhkan" saya, and i got a quote in my life "saya harus sembuh" dan quote itu terus mendorong saya untuk mencari Tuhan sampai mengalami kesembuhan itu sendiri. He heals my broken heart since 1998; sakit hati dari keluarga yang 'broken', berkali-kali melihat papa siksa mama sampai darah dan muka lebam mama jadi pemandangan tiap hari, sakit hati karena dituduh mencuri perhiasan dan uang dollar di rumah engkong dan dipaksa ngaku juga omg omg, sakit hati karena di khianati pacar, sakit hati melihat adik saya yang kedua hidupnya berantakan, sakit hati liat mama saya terjerat hutang, sakit hati liat papa suru mama gantung diri dengan tali tambang yang udah disiapin, sakit hati karena saya kena pukul terus tiap kali bela mama, My whole teen life was about HURTING inside and outside, dll. Everytime i draw near to God with my whole "heart", i ended up being HEAL. I thank God for those moment who finally leads me to the healer. He is my healer and yours too. This quote is for you: "Kamu harus sembuh"

HE IS MY DEFENDER
Semua keluarga besar pandang keluarga saya 'rendah' and i've been QUITE and also SILENT karena saya masih kecil. I just can keep it in my heart. Sejak saya lahir baru, seems like Tuhan ingin memperkenalkan diriNya sebagai PEMBELA HIDUP SAYA. Dan YUP! Sejak saat itu sampai saat ini, Dia membela perkara saya 'ALWAYS'. My family was broke, dan saya kuliah karena dana yang turun dari om yang super kaya. (for me at least). Dia bela saya, sampai saat ini saya gak tau siapa sponsor saya untuk saya sekolah di Singapore. Keluarga besar gak pernah sangka dan mimpi kalau ada anak dari keluarga FRANS THE (almarhum papa) akan pernah mengecap sekolah di luar negri dan GRATIS. Dia membela saya dan keluarga saya. He bring me to Malaysia, and also to Australia. I traveled a lot for a girl my age, a girl yang gak dipandang orang dan dari keluarga yang juga gak dipandang. One time, papa saya sampai berlutut di kaki om untuk supaya saya bisa sekolah, dan saya mengulangnya pada orang yang sama untuk supaya adik saya bisa sekolah. Hari ini, keluarga saya keluarga yang terpandang karena Tuhan membela perkara saya.

HE IS MY LOVER
I need to be loved on a very HIGH level sejak SMA. Mempergunakan dan hampir menghalalkan segala cara sampai cowo-cowo 'suka berat' sama saya. Pretty success that time! Dan sejak saya lahir baru, everytime i come to God, He shows His affection that i needed most of the time in my life. He is my lover; He used everything around me to say that "He loves me" and my heart can feel that. Di pinggir jalan nunggu angkot tiba-tiba angkot berenti (penuh banget), tapi di radionya ada lagu cinta dan all of sudden, kaya ke GEER-an seolah itu disengaja untuk saya. *blushing* .. i was thinking about new pants, new shoes dan tiba-tiba di kamar ada celana dan sepatu yang PERCIS seperti yang saya mau. Satu kali i was walking to home pulang dari kampus, karena gak ada uang sama sekali, the soft voice in my heart said "LOOK UP, LOOK LOOK!" dan (maybe its just me), tapi saya liat awan diatas saya berbentuk hati. (tell me naif or childish, but HEY i FELT LOVE) *blushing again* EVERYDAY IS A SURPRISE from my LOVER i can say. I feel loved, E V E R Y D A Y and i never felt like this before. His love is very real i can feel. Its beyond every explanation i just can feel it. Ever since, saya gak perlu lagi cari perhatian dari para cowo-cowo supaya mereka jatuh cinta sama saya, saya gak perlu lagi manja-manjaan sama cowo-cowo yang gak jelas, because i got what i need. Sampai saya ketemu dengan pasangan hidup saya, Brian Harsanto .. He was like jelmaan asmaranya Tuhan buat saya. The way he treat me, love me, surprise me, look at me, its just so real.

HE IS MY 100% DADDY
Karena saya kurang ngerti kasih papa, itu justru membuat saya bergantung pada Tuhan. Waktu papa meninggal, beberapa hari setelah itu .. saya baru sadar bahwa selama ini saya belum mengenal Tuhan sebagai BAPA. Dan sejak itu, saya mengatakan bahwa Tuhan adalah my 100% daddy for me. He protects and He provides like a real dad. Im a warrior, but setiap kali saya datang sama Tuhan, He shows up as a DAD. Every time im super tired, and super hurt, HE showed up as a DAD. He provides my everything as a DAD. a DAD that i cannot touch physically, but a DAD who always i touched right in His heart. He touched my heart, as a DAD. One nite God asked me "Essly, from now on allow me to be your 100% Dad" and i was just C R Y I N G and C R Y I N G because a girl like, definitely needs a DAD. *im missing my earth dad who is not earthly with me now* *sob*

HE IS MY KING
day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year ... i learned and i experienced many things. When i grow up a little bit more, HE SHOWED UP as a KING. dan sejak saat itu, saya menganggap Dia RAJA dengan hati BAPA. He wants my daily lives and i gave it to Him. Setiap keputusan yang mau saya ambil, i'd make sure that He allows me to do so, i'd make sure that He nod His head before i do everything else. He is the KING of KINGS, and i serve Him as His daughter, as His first daughter and together preparing the way untuk si bungsu pulang. "He is the Lord of my days"

last but not least ...
HE IS MY EVERYTHING
Yes its true, He's been my everything and will always be my everything. Its another point which hard to explained, but He is my reason for everything. He is my reason until today, why i sing, why i preach, why i cry, why i smiled, why im happy and why i am today be what i am today. Segalanya buat saya, segalanya buat keluarga saya. And day by day, He keeps showing me LOVE.. He is the reason! My everything.

He is the GOD i know ..
Ada satu quote yang keren banget:
"The more you know God, The more you love Him, the more you'll worship Him"
Because worshiping is about GOD, its about the GOD you know.

He is the GOD i know ..

Hope you can get "The GOD you KNOW" in your journey of worshiping Him. Experience HIM!
He'll love to hear that pray, and He'll run to meet you.

Pe 3:18 Tetapi bertumbuhlah dalam kasih karunia dan dalam pengenalan akan Tuhan dan Juruselamat kita, Yesus Kristus. Bagi-Nya kemuliaan, sekarang dan sampai selama-lamanya.

xoxo xoxo

Barack Obama: Elected in the midst of war

2009-01-20T08:41:00.000-08:00

The 44th america president: Barack Obama is finally elected together with the vice president Joe Biden. They took their vow (Barack Obama nervous.red) to running the official mandate for the nation. I guess its the warmest winter in Washington D.C since history has been made today. Well, how could it not? Barack Obama is the first black American president that attack the quote in America long time ago: If you;re black, you stay back; If you're brown, you stay around; If you're white, you just alrite. He also the first president that got 11 standing ovation not just the other former which is higlights his profile even more. Plus, he is elected in the midst of war. For me, this is outrageous! Born in the midst of war is something, but elected in the midst of war is everything. Plus, he also elected in the midst of crisis. Only the right person in the right time and in the right place could live such a role like that.

Rick Warren was there, Aretha Franklin was there, George Bush of course was there too (still with a very tight guardian around him), and im sure everybody watched the election today. All tv station suddenly become very busy, and the comentator are so ready to say lots of thing. Hmm... In the midst of world wide crisis nowadays; specially the war between Israel and Palestina today, i believe everybody are waiting to hear his speech.

(Suddenly there is a thriller of hollywood movie: Vantage Point. If you dont know about the movie, for god sake gain some knowledge. Its a good movie though.)

Mr. President stand and do his first speech; he speech humbly and grateful yet strong and confidence.

This are some of my highlights on Mr.President speech today:

"the time has come..."

"Greatness is never gift, it must be earned"

"People will judge you of what you can build not you can destroy"

"Our spirit is stronger and not be broken, and we will defeat you"

"Its not a new job, Its about putting the foundation for our nation growth"

"All this we can do, All this we will do"

Of course around the world has different comment about those speech, like always ..

And as usual, the comentator will suddenly gain money from this election whether they support the president or not. As long as they have the topic, they will talk and talk. Of course lots of people are willingly to took this position as 'a comentator' not as 'a president'. But i would like to say "Bravo Mr President!! Standing ovation again for you." The White house are so alive today, well i guess Marthin Luther King also rise from the death to watched the election.

Sharp and Bold

2009-01-17T18:44:00.000-08:00

Good morning peeps,

There is an idea about being 'sharp' and 'bold' in my mind just now. I think its not about sharp and bold in a good way or in a bad way, im more thinking about being sharp about the truth, about the principle, about our future. Dont you think we need to be sharp in that way?

Sesuatu yang tidak tajam itu menggelikan. Coba ambil sebuah pisau yang tumpul, tusukkan di ketiakmu, dan dijamin lu akan kegelian. Tapi coba ambil sebuah pisau yang tajam; lu bahkan gak akan berani menyimpannya sembarangan apalagi coba-coba tusukkan ketiak lu. Begitu juga dengan kita, you and me. Kalo gue gak tajam, gue sangat menggelikan. And you as well. Both of us are ridiculous.

Being sharp and bold is not about our words (yang tajam seperti silet), GEE sama sekali bukan itu maksudnya hope you all understand about that. Its about being bold about who you are, and what you do. (bukan juga keukeuh dan keras kepala) well, i hope you can also understand about this. *Hmmpp

Oke then, lets get to the point of how to become a sharp and bold young people?

1. You are who your friends are

You wanna know what kind of human being are you? Take a look at your friend; take a look at who you are with these days? They're all simply explaining and describing who you are. Tips of the day: Make friends to everybody, but choose your best friend.

2. You are what you read

You wanna know what's inside of you and what's controling your mind? Take a look at your bookcase; take a look at the author of the book (try to googling him/her sometimes). Thats shortly telling you about what is your desire, whats in your heart, and what you become. Because what's controling your mind is what is actually in you, is actually you. Tips of the day: Read a book please!

Be sharp and be bold is not a gift, it is created within you as you walk in the journey of your life and as you shaped by your surround and by your reading. The need to be sharp and the be bold are critical, because in this world with billion people, billion talent, billion artist, billion ability, billion problem... you need to be someone that others can see you different. (the word 'different' is in bold, which means: important word)

Now take a look at yourself just as i look into myself just now: Am i bold enough?

Have a bold day everyone.

Cheers,

Frans The

2009-01-12T15:50:00.001-08:00

He used to be the king of the house, although i only live with him just for a while.
He always covered me with a blanket every time i went to sleep, although he never knew that i don't like blanket (except in the winter).
He was a mountain climber, but he never reached his own mountain top.
He was a loving dad, and will always be.
He drunk all the time, even on my 17th birthday but i know why, and i understand pap.
His sickness made me sick, and i wonder why i asked why

...
...

There's too much i want to tell
but i just missing him.
very badly this morning.

p.s. the picture is his first birthday (together with the family)
and also his last birthday on earth.
(Tributes to Frans The, March 29th 2005)

Blackberry Culture

2009-01-12T15:19:00.000-08:00

*Sigh* you dont realy hope that i would explain about the blackberry, do you? you gotta be kidding me, im not that gadget person. BUT, even buat gue bukan gadget person aja, i know about it anyway. My sister use it, my friends use it, its like everybody use it. Blackberry has become a culture nowadays. I went to the 'coffee club' then they got special discount for blackberry user. It's like everywhere, and its like haunting me. Haunting me in the back of my conscious. Normally, gue gak peduli juga mau pake handphone apa (v3 on my hand udah minta di lem. -dilempar maksudnya-), dan karena blackberry haunting me, jadi pengen juga. ("Ah, gak penting says my hubby" and i just nod about it. haha)

Culture kan bisa juga dibilang "the way of life of entire society" Of course it includes; norm, behavior, dress, religion, rituals, games, and now gadget specially Blackberry (in my head *chuckle*) Its just spreading so fast, and hit every called themself 'high class society'. But anyway, its a culture. So can we call culture as a trend? Hmm.. i think trend is the beginning, culture sendiri adalah kontinuitas trend yang udah jadi norma.

Trus, apa itu trend? the word "everybody use it" is like a dirty word for me. There are people who follow trend, dan juga ada orang-orang yang gak mengikuti trend. I think, keduanya punya trend masing-masing. Last week, ada bahasan mengenai 'Anti-trend'. Nah, kalau yang anti trend juga separuh dari orang-orang yang terjebak dalam trend, i think anti-trend has become a new trend anyway. Its become a new culture anyway. Example: Orang muak dengan desain baju-baju di pasaran (mass production), then ada sekelompok orang yang mulai buat Disto (distribution store). Keuntungan mereka cuma gak mass production aja. Nowadays, kayanya gak ke distro gak gaul, gak ke distro itu ketinggalan, culun, cupu, dll. But see, its become a trend now.

So, i think everybody is stuck in their own idealism, its like everybody stuck in it (Is Idealism has become a new culture?) Shall we get out from this or drawn in it? You choose! You tell me!

Brotherhood

2009-01-10T22:26:00.000-08:00

Honour all men. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honour the king.

1 Peter 2:17b (KJV)

Mengikut Tuhan bukan hanya berbicara mengenai "percaya" saja kepada Tuhan, tetapi juga "kepunyaan" dari keluarga-Nya. It talks about belonging, not just believing. Kasih persaudaraan yang kita miliki sampai hari ini sebagai nilai dasar akan terus kita hidupi seiring dengan pertumbuhan kita untuk menjadi serupa dengan Kristus. Sementara hubungan kita dengan Tuhan itu personal, Tuhan tidak pernah bertujuan untuk membuat hal ini menjadi privasi. Di dalam brotherhood, setiap kita terhubung satu sama lainnya, dan kita akan terus saling memiliki sampai kekekalan.

1. Brotherhood mengidentifikasikan kita sebagai orang percaya

Yohanes 13:35

Ketika kita berkumpul bersama dalam kasih yang terdiri dari berbagai background: ras dan status sosial, kita menjadi kesaksian yang penuh kuasa bagi dunia. Kita bukanlah tubuh Kristus oleh karena keberadaan kita sendiri, kita membutuhkan orang lain untuk mengekspresikan kata "tubuh Kristus". Together, not separated, we are His body.

2. Brotherhood memindahkan kita dari isolasi kehidupan yang berpusat pada diri sendiri

Gereja lokal merupakan ruang kelas untuk belajar bagaimana hidup dan bersikap di dalamnya: merupakan ruang laboratorium untuk mempraktekan kehidupan yang tidak egois dan kasih yang empati. Sebagai anggota dari brotherhood ini, kita belajar untuk peduli terhadap orang lain. Brotherhood yang Alkitabiah adalah mengkomitkan diri kita satu dengan yang lain seperti kita terhadap Kristus. Tuhan mau kita memberikan hidup kita satu sama lain. Banyak orang Kristen yang hafal ayat Yohanes 3:16 tidak sadar akan ayat 1 Yohanes 3:16 yang berkata: "Demikianlah kita ketahui kasih Kristus, yaitu bahwa Ia telah menyerahkan nyawaNya bagi kita; jadi kita wajib untuk menyerahkan nyawa kita untuk saudara-saudara kita." Ini merupakan bentuk kasih yang Tuhan inginkan kita tunjukan kepada saudara kita yang lain - a willingness to love them in the same way Jesus loves you.

3. Brotherhood membantu kita untuk mengembangkan otot-otot rohani kita.

Kita tidak akan pernah bertumbuh dewasa hanya dengan menghadiri kebaktian hari Minggu dan menjadi anggota yang pasif. Hanya orang-orang yang berberpartisipasi dengan hati yang penuh di dalam gereja Tuhan (di dalam Brotherhood) memiliki otot-otot rohani.

“Dari padaNya lah seluruh tubuh – yang rapi tersusun dan diikat menjadi satu oleh pelayanan semua bagiannya, sesuai dengan kadar pekerjaan tiap-tiap anggota – menerima pertumbuhannya dan membangun dirinya dalam kasih.” Efesus 4:16

Kita memerlukan lebih dari sekedar Alkitab untuk bertumbuh – kita perlu orang lain disekitar kita. Kita bertumbuh lebih cepat dan lebih kuat dengan belajar dari satu sama lain dan memiliki akuntabilitas satu sama lain. Ketika orang lain menceritakan apa yang sedang Tuhan kerjakan dalam hidupnya, kita belajar dan kita juga bertumbuh.

4. Brotherhood menolong kita menjadi tidak mundur / murtad.

Tidak ada seorangpun dari kita yang kebal terhadap pencobaan. Pada titik atau situasi tertentu, kita semua memiliki kemungkinan untuk jatuh dalam dosa. Tuhan mengetahui ini, sehingga Dia menciptakan Brotherhood untuk kita bertanggung jawab untuk saling menjagai satu sama lain.

“Tetapi nasihatilah seorang akan yang lain setiap hari, selama masih dapat dikatakan ‘hari ini’, supaya jangan ada di antara kamu yang menjadi tegar hatinya karena tipu daya dosa.”Ibrani 3:13

Kita dipanggil dan diperintahkan untuk ikut serta di dalam kehidupan orang lain. Jika pada hari ini kita mengetahui ada seseorang yang sedang dalam kondisi buruk rohaninya, maka ini adalah tanggung jawab kita untuk datang kepadanya dan membawa mereka kembali ke dalam fellowship kita. Iblis menyukai orang-orang percaya yang terpisah, terpisah dari brotherhood, dan yang tidak diperhatikan oleh orang lain, kerena dia tahu kita lemah dan tidak punya kuasa ketika kita sendiri.

Same Minute, Different Story

2009-01-03T10:00:00.000-08:00

in front of me is a 17inch monitor that longs for me to write story. I imagine a BIG book if i dare to travel around the world through the internet just to find out about what happen to each person in the same minute i sit right now. Then i dont see a BIG book anymore, i see a BIG globe with a picture of people from every nation and color and ras. Too many too tell, but its dramatc and tragic when i think about this.

Last minute to the 2009 i happened to stay at the room with my baby who almost gone sleep (its a new year dispensation for him staying late that nite by the way), while i heard a glimpse of fireworks everywhere. The sky are beautiful that nite while i was walking to my room. The same minute i got tons of sms that urged me to delete old messages in order to let the new one is arrived. And its also the same minute i imagine some of my friend stucked in an-unpredictable traffic jam which actually easy to predict that nite. It also the same minute when a young girl around my age told her family that she is 6 month pregnant and it succesfully ruined all the family member's new year. It also the same minute when a young boy planned a murder, the same minute when a old man didnt even realize what happen or anything. It the same minute when a sick man decided not to marry the girl he make love with. It the same minute when a hard working mom still working to pay the bills that never ended. It the same minute when a grown up man had his illness. It the same minute that a young girl decided again to took pills to fly and sniff a drug through her nose and wake up naked without anyone in her room. It the same minute when a big family took their photoshoot and framed it in their memories. It the same minute when some of the group people took their first calcun. It the same minute when a little boy and his little sister sleep on the street in the rain. It the same minute when people shot their firework while the clock is 00.00 and Cheerss!

Try to sit alone and think what happen to other people in the same minute you are now. At the time you imagine that, you will look to yourself and think again: how selfish and ungrateful you are if you still complaining about your life. There are so much better being you then being someone elses with a different story in the same minute you are now. There are so many bad things around that should urge you to just be grateful for who you are, what you have and what you doing right now.

Different story to tell, but there is the same God behind all the scenario of this life. What, you say there is no God? or do you say God didnt care anymore? I say, there is a God. If there is no God, its impossible that everyone in the story above could have enough courage to pass the day like those days. If there is no God, its impossible that i myself could think of the idea of different story in the same minute, because its not the human heart its God's heart that allows everything happen according to each capacity to bear.

Make things happen

2009-01-03T09:27:00.000-08:00

There are many kinds of people in this world full of drama; and i sum up all of' em in only two words: follower and leader. Many of us didnt even care about 'the kinds' of people thing i talk about, but if you dare to look at yourself a lil bit longer and a lil bit deeper and ask a simple question to yourself; are you a follower or a leader?

the words 'GOOD' or any other synonim of that kind of word that often describe a person is not enough anymore when we come to the kind of people i talked about above. Let say that there's a different between follower and leader.

Follower are the person who tend to always hope things happen; day dreaming about things to happen, wish things to happen, only pray things happen (Upss!?)

Leader are the person who make things happen.

Not everybody was born to be a leader, but everybody must lead themself at least. Lead your mind, lead your decision, lead your feeling, lead your hand, lead your feet, lead your tongue, lead your brain. Well, naturally we all leading ourself in the journey of life, so i say everybody is a leader. The spirit of the leadership, i say the mentality of a leader is: Make things happen. With your inner power, with your everything you make things happen.

i had some discussion about how long we gonna live in this world without end notes, and i come up with the conclusion to myself that i dont give a care how long i will live in this world, but i do care about how i live from the first minute of every new year to the very last second of each year, its about putting everything rights at the right portion at the right time. No matter in what situation you live, make things happen!

Lelah

2008-12-04T09:41:00.000-08:00

Kaki lelah ada obatnya, hati lelah apa obatnya?

Tubuh lunglai bisa ditanggulangi, bagaimana dengan hati yang lunglai?

Ketika lampu menyala, raut ceria di wajah,

ketika lampu mati, air mata mengalir tak henti

Ditengah orang banyak, banyak kata terucap,

ketika sendiri, tak ada kata yang terucap

Disiang hari, aktivitas merebut waktu demi waktu,

dimalam hari hanya ditemani keheningan

Sepi kulihat ke dalam hati

Bunyi jam terdengar di pagi subuh saat terbangun

Detak jantung terdengar jelas, waktu itu ayam belum berkokok

Fajar masih bersiap untuk terbit, ahh akhirnya membangunkan fajar lagi pagi ini

Lelah kurasa di dalam dada

Entah adakah yang mengerti atau memang tidak perlu dimengerti

Entah haruskah terucap atau memang tidak perlu diucap

Siapa disana, disini ada isi hati yang tak terungkap

Ada kegalauan yang tak mudah terucap dengan kata

Air mata kembali menjelaskannya

Siapa disana, disini ada rasa yang hampir hilang

Adakah yang bertanya

Lelah

My Everything

2008-11-29T16:36:00.000-08:00

I want to be beautiful

And make you stand in awe

Look inside my heart

And be amazed

I want to hear you say

Who i am is quite enough

I just want to be worthy of love

And beautiful

-BETHANY DILLON, "Beautiful"

One nite, Brian and i had some a counseling session with a couple that we've been seen for several times. While we gave a session to them, i myself got a session from what my husband shared that nite. Well, kalo diceritain akan panjang banget karena memang sessionnya yang cukup panjang *pheww* ... i just felt im in love again and again. Asiknya, karena gak bertepuk sebelah tangan karena ... i also felt i am loved, so loved by him that nite.

The First Love has showered me that nite, healed my brokeness, and filled my emptyness. *smiling* Cepat sekali terjadinya, it was like a flash get through me, and wiiiiiii i was changed. Hitungan nya per detik lah, gak sampe semenit. and i was like *woww* (pernah rasain gak kaya gitu?.red)

And after that, giliran gue yang harus share something .. after my *wow* moment, rasanya aneh banget, yang di dalem gue semanget kaya maen pinball dapet jackpot (serius.red) yang diluar merasa gak siap dengan yang terjadi barusan .. maka terbata-bata lah gw ngomong nya (hitungannya menit kalo ini.red) then setelah itu eveything back to normal. (pernah rasain juga yang kaya gitu?.red)

The feeling that i am loved, helps me to be strong.

The fact that i am loved, gaves me courage.

If somehow you see me 'strong', thats because he loves me for who i am.

If somehow you see me 'courage women', thats because he told me that im worthy to be loved.

yes he did. (some of you might think: no way, brian could do that? yes he did)

Max, your dad did. *smiling and cheers*

You are everything

and you make me stand in awe

i see you everyday and i keep amazed

how God could created such a man like you

how God could put such a heart like yours

I want to say that who you are

is more than what i ask for

is more than what i expect for

You are my everything

-ESSLY THE, "Everything"

What you become

2008-11-15T20:28:00.000-08:00

IT IS NOT WHAT YOU ACHIEVE

IT IS WHAT YOU BECOME

Kegagalan membuat kita maju, kesuksesan hanya membuat kita berhenti. I do believe tiap-tiap orang perlu menemukan ato dipakasa untuk bertemu dengan zero level (level nol) dalam kehidupan; level dimana sudah tidak ada lagi yang dapat dibanggakan, tidak ada lagi kekuatan untuk berdiri dengan kekuatan sendiri, seolah-olah tidak ada lagi yang dapat diharapkan. Semua orang selalu memajang piala kemenangan, tetapi piala kegagalan selalu disembunyikan, dikubur, dan dianggap memalukan. Mungkin memalukan, mungkin memang tidak dibanggakan, tapi itu semua membuat kita semakin dewasa dan maju. Just like the quote.. Hidup bukanlah apa yang kau capai, tapi kau menjadi apa. Dari sebuah kesuksesan, kau menjadi apa? Sombong, khilaf, berkepala tegak? Dari sebuah kegagalan, kau menjadi apa? Semakin rendah hati, semakin terpuruk, atau lari dari kenyataan. Itu sebabnya bukan masalah sukses atau gagal lagi, pada akhirnya kita harus bercermin dan melihat dari semua yang terjadi; what we become. Because what we become, will inspire others. Dont stop, dont quit, always rise up, never give up, let the struggle in; mold you, shape you, until you become someone.

2008-10-25T18:17:00.000-07:00

what's most important to students?

being with them

The Bridge & d'essentials

2008-10-24T05:44:00.000-07:00

Running a marathon is a fitting picture of 'the bridge'. Its not an easy task within us; If it were, we'd have more youth workers than ushers (no offense to usher.red). The bridge is filled with long, tiring, often unrewarding, complex, unique, intense, humorous, joyfilled, and painful experiences. Many have entered the bridge marathon, but many quit before long, having lost joy and satisfaction. they wounded and weary. The bridge - like a christian life - is a race that requires both training and endurance. Fortunately, our endurance and strength increase as we run the race and follow the course God has set for us. So the bridge, keep running!!

Traveled on my knees

2008-10-23T18:34:00.001-07:00

Last night I took a journey
to a land across the sea,
I did not go by boat or plane,
I traveled on my knees.
I saw many people there in deep sin,
and I did not want to send my prayers in.
But Jesus said I should go and see,
how many I could win.
I said, "Jesus, I cannot go and work
with such as these."
He answered quickly, "Yes, you can by traveling on your knees."
He said, "You pray, I will meet the need.
You call and I will hear."
So I knelt in prayer and felt at ease
as I traveled on my knees.
I said, "Yes, Lord. I know I can do the job,
and my desire is to please.
I will heed Your call,"
and I traveled on my knees.

Laki-laki dan Perempuan

2008-10-16T17:44:00.000-07:00

Laki-laki diciptakan bukan karena perempuan, tetapi perempuan diciptakan karena laki-laki. Siapa perempuan sehingga layak diciptakan karena laki-laki, dan siapakah laki-laki sehingga layak memiliki perempuan pada akhirnya. They belong to be together, mengisi kekosongan dan kekurangannya masing-masing; they both different yet equal, they both are God's idea and God's product that what makes them God's property. If you handle them, you are handling God's property. Laki-laki, jadilah laki-laki. Perempuan, jadilah perempuan.

Love the process, Challenge the process

2008-10-07T00:27:00.000-07:00

Lets make friend with each process in our lives. Knowing that the process will always around us as long as we live, so why don't we make friend with it. Seeing that the process will mold and shape our lives, so why don't we welcome the process into our lives more. What do you think?

Each day is a new day and each process mature us in a different way and of course it depends on our different responses. we are all different, thats why we are all shows different manifestation for each process. One thing that we should realize that each proccess will produce something good for our future.

We cannot fasten the process, we can only love the process and if its a lil bit tough, lets challenge the process. Every mother knows that they cant fasten the pregnancy process, or the baby will be premature, so what are those mom did were enjoying and loving every minute of pregnancy... knowing that soon the precious one will be delivered after the process is finish. And it goes the same thing with other process in our lives.. so, love the process and challenge the process for there's a precious one after that.

Cheers,

Keep Going!

2008-01-25T16:46:00.000-08:00

DThats why a life need a goal! My day definitely need a goal, need a purpose! Gotta do something with the goal, but never close the windows of other opportunity in front of you...

Some says like this,"Imagine that you're in the middle of war, how would you live?"
What would you answers? ...
Never mind, but my answer is
- I will live as today is my last day to live on earth
- I will sing like i never sing before
- I will dance like i never dance before
- I will work like a smart dog! which is no need to be exhausted, but very smart
- I will tell to the people that they're so precious
- I will keep going, no matter what happen!

If i stay, maybe i could be dead somehow, and if i run im still gonna be dead somehow...
so i choose to die while im running!! While im running to the goal, running with purpose.
Many times, i distracted by something that doesnt important at all. And many times are wasted! You need to keep going, whatever it is! Hurt, deceit, pain, disappointed, brokenhearted, and laziness might come, but i decided to say "Whatever it is, keep going! keep going!"

One night, i was hurt.. and i cried in my small room. I cried, walked around my room, sit on my bed, still cried and then there's a strength from the inside, and suddenly i say this "whatever it is, i wanna keep going! i wanna keep going! while i was crying."
And here i am today, stronger and wiser than yesterday, so ready for the future, so ready to go to another level of life.

See, its just a matter how we response the process, how we response the process, how we respond to the life... the way you response will determine your today and your future.
So, whatever it is for now, just keep going! something bigger are awaits!
Keep going!

The Power of TODAY

2008-01-25T16:39:00.000-08:00

Its today!
i hate it when people say, "i'll do it tomorrow!" ...
Then i said,"How about today?"
"If i can do it tomorrow, why must today?"
and i answered," if we can do it today, why wait until tomorrow?"
erghhhh...

There's a yesterday and there's a future.
In the middle of that, is what i called TODAY.
So, if you don't live a life of today, you'll missed the tomorrow and you'll stuck in the yesterday.
Today is kinda like a bridge to the tomorrow.

Yes, we need a goal, we need a dream (BIG dream), but dont live in your dream. Make it come true by living maximal in your today. You cant change the past, the yesterday, but definitely you can make you future. Where do you wanna be two years ahead? What you gonna be five years ahead? You can create it. You can decided where you gonna be in five years, and what you will become in the next year.

Today is the seed for tomorrow. If you sow, you will reap.
If you sow the today, you will reap the future.
Today is so important that you cant just let it pass just like that.
Today, today, today... make it like you never before and see what you will reap tomorrow.
Get a life

DECISION

2008-01-25T16:23:00.000-08:00

Mature people live by their decision each day. We become what we are today because of what we had decided long time ago. We are the product of a decision.

Mature people don't live by their feelings. Mostly women has a bigger problem in this area (well ehmm.. including me sometimes). Feelings makes us alive! Feelings directs our way! Feelings can change our day! But i tell you, feeling can not be your master. Because if you are wounded by your own feeling, you'll end up miserable at the end of the day.

Day and night is a perfect combination God created for every creatures on earth. The sun and the moon, the trees and the bird, the sky and the sea. The dessert and the water. They have their own timing and their own jobdesk. And from this creatures, we can allow ourselves to meditate and to learn something about 'feeling and decision'.

I cant imagine how my day would be if the sun has a bad feeling someday that the sun wont rise in the morning. And i cant imagine what earth would be if the trees refuse to grow and the sea not really in a good feeling today, ...i believe there's going to be tsunami more often.

So i guess lesson for today: Check your self, have you ruled by your own feeling or have you live by your decision?

Dare to make a decision for your own day, because in the future you'll be the person who will make a lot of decision for other people. So be a decision maker everyday.

Ready for Changes?

2008-01-25T15:58:00.000-08:00

Hmm… zona kenyamanan saya tiba-tiba terusik beberapa hari ini dan seolah-olah tidak menunggu saya untuk bergerak, tapi bergerak sendiri dan menuntut saya untuk ikut bergeser. Pagi ini tidak seperti biasanya; I woke up very earlier while I didn’t sleep too earlier, tapi sesuatu langsung mengganggu seluruh hati dan pikiran saya begitu saya terjaga. Entah apa ini, tapi saya rasa saya pernah mengalaminya beberapa tahun belakang.

Begitu banyak yang berjalan-jalan di pikiran saya, membuat saya akhirnya bangun dari tidur meneguk segelas air mineral dan duduk di depan laptop ini dan menulis. Membuat saya tersadar juga bahwa ada sesuatu yang harus saya lakukan entah apa itu, tapi ada satu dorongan kuat dari dalam untuk melakukan sesuatu.

Di awal tahun, I share this thought a bit to my best friends. Entahlah, but I remember saying this: …Kalau kita mau maju, pasti akan ada pergeseran-pergeseran gaya hidup yang akan kita alami… (And that word seems bounce back to myself this hour, makes me think a lot dengan dahi yang mengernyit hampir menyatukan kedua alis ini hehe…)

Saya bukan orang yang takut akan pergeseran; Well, saya memilih untuk bersahabat dengan factor x di luar saya ini. Why? Sederhana, karena saya tidak suka perasaan yang tak menentu ini, saya tidak menikmati stress, dan saya sangat menyukai kedamaian hati. Call me poetic or anything else lah, but its true.

Kalau memang harus ada yang bergeser dalam hari-hari saya, let it be! Im so ready. Saya tahu ini awal dari sesuatu yang baru di depan sana, dan saya mau siap untuk menyambut itu. Ah, kuputuskan saja untuk tertawa terhadap masa depan, karena saya percaya awal dari segala sesuatu menentukan garis akhir. Apapun itu, I wanna say loud: IM NOT AFRAID OF TOMMOROW, if SOMETHING MUST CHANGE, then be it. I DON’T PUT WORRY IN MY DAY; for I KNOW MY FUTURE IS IN THE RIGHT HAND.

So let me share this with you (tanpa bermaksud menggurui tentunya)

Dalam hidup, setiap kita pasti akan menemukan pergeseran-pergeseran hidup. Mengapa itu terjadi? Satu hal saja, karena kita semakin dewasa dan orang dewasa yang sesungguhnya adalah orang-orang yang mau berubah dan bergeser sejalan dengan kapasitas dia. Hukum kapasitas berlaku bagi setiap manusia, dan kapasitas kita akan menentukan pergeseran hidup kita. Dan pergeseran hidup kita akan menentukan seberapa berhasil kita di depan sana. MAKE YOUR FUTURE, design your life, coz the FUTURE is in your HAND.

A HOT MAMA!

2008-01-08T22:52:00.000-08:00

My thought today "Kapan lagi memamerkan perut buncit selain hamil?" and i was chuckling alone. Still on my bed, i read a psalm for my baby and after that i tell the baby "Hey there, you got a HOT MAMA! and suddenly i heard my husband chuckling on his bedside (that was a sign of an agreement haha) ...

Rasa tidak percaya merasuki hati ini tatkala sebuah intuisi berkata bahwa saya hamil. it was 4 month ago ... sore itu brian (thats my husband name) membeli alat check kehamilan, and YES! Im pregnant. Sampai detik ini, masih terbengong-bengong karena kepercayaan atas kehamilan ini. Sampai detik ini, juga masih terkaget-kaget that we're gonna be a parents. The feeling was unexplainable with any words, it thrills me personally and took us by surprise everyday. its a W.O.W ... i cant explain.

What a privilege for every women to be able to experience 'pregnancy'. And i cannot agree with every women who doesnt want to be pregnant. Women, dont be selfish! Well, i think its about the right timing. Banyak wanita hamil di waktu yang salah, di tempat yang salah, dan bersama dengan orang yang salah. Hamil diwaktu yang tepat dan bersama dengan orang yang tepat akan menjadikan mu menjadi A REAL HOT MAMA!

Thats my thought right now..
my baby got a hot mama and a real mama. I didnt create that feeling, and im sure its not just a feeling, its a .... (have no words for that its crazy) ... the baby create a feeling, somehow the baby is just talking to me in a silence and i just could understand it when the baby say "i got a hot mama and a real mama"

Your start will determine Your finish

2008-01-08T05:31:00.000-08:00

15 September 2007 merupakan awal dari segalanya buat gue. That was my wedding with an amazing guy i met randomly at college year 1998. He is such a blessing .... Hidup telah menentukan orang-orang yang tinggal di sekeliling kita, selanjutnya kitalah yang harus menentukan bagaimana menjalani hidup yang sesungguhnya. Arti dari hidup sesungguhnya sendiri pasti berbeda bagi tiap orang. Let say: "Hidup adalah perjalanan... Its a journey"

I love the word "journey"
Sadar atau gak sadar, setiap manusia setiap saat sedang ada di dalam sebuah perjalanan kehidupan. Beberapa berusaha keluar dari perjalanan kehidupan dengan membunuh dirinya sendiri, well ... apakah setelah kematian tidak ada perjalanan lagi? i dont think so. Beberapa berusaha menolak kehidupan sendiri dengan mematikan hati nuraninya dengan melakukan hal yang bertentangan dengan hati nurani, well ... apakah itu hidup? i dont think so either. Tapi beberapa memutuskan untuk terus berjalan walau terpelecok, terus berjalan walaupun kadang lelah, terus berjalan walaupun ada rintangan, terus berjalan walaupun sedikit keraguan merasuk, well i say thats life.

My journey begin at the day after my wedding. Me and my husband are so exited about our life and we began to make every little decision everyday that forms our destiny. Kita berdua mengawalinya dengan antusias. Do you realize that how your start will determine how your finish?

The good news is: Everyday is a new day. Everyday is a new page of your own biography book. So if you think that you dont have a life, you can start to have one. Kehidupan ini akan menjadi tak sama tanpa dirimu. Anytime, you can have your own life. You can even start earlier than me or maybe a lil longer than me, but at least you have a life ... a life where you as a ruler of your life.

"Whenever you decided to start a life, make sure you start with an excellent start, and you'll end up laying your head down and hear a voice say "Well Done..." (Essly)